37 Comments
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Nicole Peery's avatar

I have some, but in a “the Earth does some pretty cool shit” kind of way, not the “these bitches are gonna align the piss outta my chakras” way.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 I'm with on rocks being cool. I follow 'boring rocks for nerds' on here cuz rocks are cool. Crystals are cool too, since they're pretty rocks. But exactly, they won't align the piss out of your chakras.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Crystals and gemstones are great for fiction writing, decorations, and tchotckes. The end.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Absolutely, and they make very pretty tchotckes.

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deester's avatar

Oh man the Crystal Methalite made my day … I hear it’s so addictive but can be so toxic 😆

I love that you called this out. I grew up in India and trust me I e heard it all. I can woowoo with the best, but never at the expense of my family, my health or my wallet. It’s all a bit of fun—until it’s not.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 exactly, very addictive, very toxic.

I loved your line 'I can woowoo with the best' haha. But exactly, it can be a bit of fun, as long as its not at the expense of something.

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Ian Simbotin's avatar

Wait... they don't actually work?!‽¡¿

Well, I guess it's just gonna be homeopathy... I really need it now...

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆

Failing homeopathy, I have some magic beans that will help.

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Ian Simbotin's avatar

That's the stuff... I'm gonna need two thousand pounds... actually, make that kilograms... two tons, yeah...

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Jorunn Hernes 🇳🇴's avatar

Hahahaha this made my day! Oh Robin, I hope you have a gneiss day too! 😂

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Oh I'm so glad it brought some giggles to your day Jorunn!! :) Even though I just wrote it for shist and giggles.

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Marbellys's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 love this

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆 Thanks Marbellys

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Evan's avatar

You’re the first woman I’ve come across who’s criticized the use of crystals, the bullshit of “manifesting”, and astrology. I know a very intelligent woman who’s a clinical therapist. She’s all about that stuff. Boggles the mind. I think it’s partly used as a coping mechanism. Recently I had an ex who called me and was worried that I might be considering suicide because…her smoke alarm was going off.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

There's a few of us. But many stay in the shadows, in fear of the crystal mafia haha. A clinical therapist? Really? Sigh.

Umm...what? lol. I can't fathom the connection between your mental health and her smoke alarm.

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Angela Meyer's avatar

I’m just a 75-year-old space hippie. Some think I’m a witch. Crystals, moonbaths, and astrology are bullshit, no better than prayers to a crucified dead man.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Well said Tia Loca! Although I'd add in that it's a parable of a crucified man.

Also ooh la la, a witch hehe.

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Angela Meyer's avatar

But I’m not a witch. People just call me that sometimes, also with a “b”

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Danielle Amory's avatar

Only "rocks" are the ones that either comes with a certificate of authenticity that can be insured or the other ones it takes at least 2 to do

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆 yes, insurable rocks are a girl's best friend.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

I believe in homeopathic crystals. That’s where I don’t have any actual crystals, and so far it’s been doing me fine.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Whatever works. I do have a couple of crystals, they were my grandma's, and they're pretty. :)

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Sam Mertens's avatar

Can’t tell if you got the dig at homeopathy or not. Homeopathic medicine is made by putting an active ingredient in water, and then repeatedly diluting the solution until there’s none of the active ingredient left. So homeopathic crystals would be the practice of not bothering with crystals at all.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

If you need me to put a dagger through the heart of any other of my attempts at humor by explaining them, just let me know.

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Paul Riddell's avatar

I’m all for using crystals to align one’s chakras so long as the definition of “chakra” comes from Joe Bob Briggs: “One of those places where if you hit it with a baseball bat, you die.”

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 I don't know who that it but I like the cut of his jib.

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Paul Riddell's avatar

Joe Bob Briggs: the world’s first drive-in movie critic, and one of the people who got me into writing in my sordid youth: https://joebobbriggs.com

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

To be fair, there are some awesome rocks out there! I have a couple that I collected from holidays (a rock from inside a henge in Scotland, for example), and we have a piece of the Berlin Wall (does that count?), but other than that, like baby deer, leave those rocks alone in the wild!

Unless you give me one with googly eyes, then I will love it and hug it and call it George.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Love the abominable snowman quote at the end haha. I've said that before and people look at me cockeyed.

Rocks are cool, geologists agree.Your historical rocks sound awesome! I follow an account on here called "boring rocks for nerds" and it just brings joy to my day each time.

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

I love Boring Rocks For Nerds! I believe the “George” comment is from a Looney Tunes parody of “Of Mice and Men”!! We folks of that era know it.

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Dan Levine's avatar

Crystal Methodist - a christian rock from FLA.

when i stop laughing maybe i’ll ask where you come up with this shit,

i must tell you how happy i am since subscribing to you.

now i can get rid of all my crystals,

seriously, makes me think of “The Missing Piece Meets The Big O” (Shel Silverstein).

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Robin Wilding's avatar

haha I'm so glad you like it Dan! And I'm glad you're happy about subscribing, so much so you can get rid of your happy-goo-goo crystals 😆

Oh Shel Silverstein, such beautiful stories, always so sad but with a happy ending.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

THIS: "The only way crystals can protect you is if you put them in a sock and turn it into a weapon." 🤣🤣

This post is hilarious. I have zero experience with people who do crystals 🔮 Thanks for the heads up!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 I'm glad you like it. Although you like all my shit...and shist. *ba dum tss.

I can tell you don't know crystal people, since you said 'do crystals'. Like how people who don't smoke weed say 'do pot'. Also, I think it's the crystals that do you?

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

🤣

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Nov 12
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Robin Wilding's avatar

Well said James! Literal touch-stones. Although googly eyes make everything better hehe

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