56 Comments
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Charles Bastille's avatar

I'm sorry all you earthlings are having this silly debate. It's one of the reasons you're on a watch list.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Oh I'm aware why we're on a watchlist. And why even when you do come here, you don't socialize (and just stick things up our butts).

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Charles Bastille's avatar

That's not the only reason we stick things up peoples' butts.

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Mark Hayes's avatar

The People of Earth would like to make a formal complaint to Management about all the Butt Sticking Upping.

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Heidi L 🇵🇸 🇺🇦's avatar

Speak for yourself. 😉

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆

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Maggie Jon's avatar

I don't see the connection between earthlings and a list of timekeeping devices 🤔

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Charles Bastille's avatar

Fun fact: Dad jokes are loved throughout the universe.

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Maggie Jon's avatar

Thank fuck for that, or I was in the wrong universe.

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Mcdude's avatar

Hilarious! The siren song!

Was talking to a bar owner years ago and he was telling me about a group of men in their 50s and 60s. They came in almost every afternoon and sat at the bar. When they started on their first beer they talked about all their physical ailments, arthritis, stents, bad hips and knees, etc. Then by their 3rd or 4th beer how they would kick ass on younger guys they disliked and teach them a lesson. Hmm🤔

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Robin Wilding's avatar

That's funny, but I'd reckon the next day they're regretting both the alcohol and fighting as they lay on the floor unable to move.

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Lee Neville's avatar

That there be a great example of "whisky dick".

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Mcdude's avatar

Will it rise to the occasion? 😂

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Lee Neville's avatar

Only in the imagination! ;)

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Love it!

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂

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Sam Mertens's avatar

I have figured out how to beat the gorilla. Single-handedly. Without weapons. Gorillas have shorter lifespans than humans. So I’d just wait it out. Maybe check in, see how it’s doing every six months or a year or so. Just give it space to do whatever a gorilla wants to do. Eventually, it will expire without me having to lift a finger. I may have to accept my trophy while pushing a walker, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the cause.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 Brilliant Sam. Your plan takes the cake.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

I shall be king of the jungle … eventually.

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Jagged Jeanne's avatar

My laugh for the day. Thank you. If the men would just sit down and shut up, we women could solve all the world’s problems!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Meh, I think we could figure it out together. But if we got the gorilla-fighting machismo out of world affairs we'd definitely be better off.

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Bernhard Guenter's avatar

What is even the point of fighting a Gorilla? Have we got nothing else to do to, like saving the friggin' planet if we want to survive as a species?

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I mean...you have a point. Albeit it wouldn't be as funny of a piece to write.

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Kathy Minicozzi's avatar

This is hilarious! Personally, I wouldn't want to make a gorilla mad at me. I'm pretty hefty myself, but one of them could squash me just by sitting on me. That would be an embarrassing way to die, being sat upon by a gorilla.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Squished by a gorilla looking for a comfy place to sit is a pretty embarrassing way to go out haha.

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Mark Hayes's avatar

But a gorilla wouldn't want to sit on you and crush you. They're naturally very gentle creatures — unless, of course, they're being attacked by 100 accountants, dentists, bookkeepers and hairdressers...

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Jon Ofjord's avatar

Men do tend to overestimate their abilities. Florida man is a good example.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I love when Florida Man goes Florida Manning. Makes for an entertaining read.

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Sallyfemina's avatar

There's a series on HBO called "It's Florida, Man". Mostly-true stories re-enacted by actors.

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Lee Neville's avatar

Well said Robin and right on. God, what a deeply dopey derp cringy meme to stir yourself to ridicule.

As a 60 something male, I don't kid myself - I ain't nowhere near even an eighth as good as I deluded myself being back in the day. Hell, I damned near infarct bending over to pull my shoes on (and usually fart away helplessly) - much less be ready or able to move at any pace resembling flank speed after standing up seeing stars.....

I'd do best preparing for any fracas, real or imagined, by practicing my cell phone quick draw / punching in 911. Or tapping my wife to sort it with her RGS (Real Girl Strength) - like who in their right mind fucks with a 60+ year old woman?

These internet bros contemplating a gang-up on a silverback gorilla are the saddest sacks of mushroom popping wet little limp noodle one-handed keyboard abusers who've locked themselves in their Mom's basement marathoning Joe Rogan podcasts and sniffing ground-up lines of supplements.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆😆 Nicely said Lee. This was the comment that just kept on delivering.

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Mark Hayes's avatar

Sometimes they think of The Roman Empire...

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Beth the Baker's avatar

Reading your posts is like getting 2 for 1. First I laugh uproariously at your writing, then I get to laugh even more at the replies. Thanks to all of you!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Oh agreed, the comment sections here can be as funny as the article itself. Sometimes funnier, the bastards.

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Victor Cardenas's avatar

I won't stand in the way of you attempting to pacify a silverback gorilla, just let me make sure my camera is out and recording!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Sure, I'll give you a heads up.

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Christopher Manson's avatar

Thanks. I needed to read this today.

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June Kirri's avatar

LMAO! I can actually see this happening, for reals.

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Crazy Cat Lady's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

Since I apparently live under a rock, this is the first time I've heard of the 100 men vs. 1 gorilla thing. I'd like to believe you made it up, but it's so dismally absurd that it must be true. Like you, Robin, my money is on the gorilla.

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Amber's avatar

1 Woman vs 1 Gorilla. Jane Goodall wins.

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Kathy H's avatar

Pit-bulls, bears, & gorillas surely have more appreciation for practicality & simple pleasures, creativity & charm more than they do annoying yippy pups punching above their weight.

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