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Courtney M 🇨🇦's avatar

I'll be heading to Heard and McDonald islands to chill with the penguins. 🐧✌️

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Excellent choice ma' lady.

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Mark Hayes's avatar

I hear that they party like rock stars, sure you can handle it?

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Courtney M 🇨🇦's avatar

Nah. My rock star days are over. At best, they'll take pity on me and adopt me as some sort of novelty pet. At worst, they'll reject my plea for asylum and toss me into the active volcano. Either way... better than the alternative. I stand by it.

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Rain Robinson's avatar

Great idea! But unless you eat penguins as your only food, you'll have to bring plenty of provisions. Better stock up now!

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Courtney M 🇨🇦's avatar

Damn. Can't eat the penguins, they might be my only company. Guess I'll just have to pack a lifetime supply of smoked bacon and butter tarts.

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AJ Milne's avatar

If the soundtrack to the postapocalypse is gonna be Billy Joel, I think I might prefer a quick evaporation.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 Maybe we should pick the postapocalyptic playlist then

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Sallyfemina's avatar

Someone tried to update that song in the past 5 years. I think I heard it on the radio all of twice before it disappeared.

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Sallyfemina's avatar

Okay, it was Fall Out Boy, only 2 years ago.

They're no Billy Joel.

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AJ Milne's avatar

I dunno if you can really cover it in one pop song this decade.

... maybe more an opera.

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Brooke Craig's avatar

I beg to differ - huge Fall Out Boy fan here and the updated version includes some of our favorite US idiots to hate so I’ve got to love that.

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Sallyfemina's avatar

They're good (and I love the "Uma Thurman" video), and the lyrics seemed OK, but the radio station didn't play it for more than a month. I thought it might catch on but not so much. They should have mentioned Covid though.

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D Kitterman's avatar

Please, In the future, when mentioning the warring state of the world with "It may have something to do with having egomaniacal leaders and billionaires running a quagmire on Earth", PLEASE remember that all of this is largely being and has always been initiated and overseen by MEN. Out of control asshole MEN that are insecure, dishonest, greedy, small dick MEN, that roll over, killing and screwing over everyone else solely due to their smallness and mental instability. Just look at the worst perpetrators: Putin, Kim Jung Un, Orban, Erdogan, The Orange Diaper Load, Stephen Miller, just to name some of the worst. We can't stop it if we don't name it. It's MEN!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You make a point. Albeit many female leaders have proven to be no better, which my response is usually that they're female leaders chosen for male attributes and have to be even tougher as they're operating in a man's world. If it were more stereotypically 'feminine' candidates, like Jacinda Arden, I think we'd really be cooking.

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Mark Hayes's avatar

...and reasonable men agree. Hell, I'm tired of dudes that look like me running things, if there's one thing we've proven...

...we're not very good at it.

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Stephen Beck Marcotte's avatar

Woh man. Can Willis Do

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Teri Gelini's avatar

AGREE!!

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Heidi L's avatar

A big NOPE to Australia - they have wayyyyy to many things there that can scurry, slither, or swim up to you and kill you dead. I'll take my chances with the bomby stuff (famous last words).

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Whats Going On Brandi Dawn's avatar

Been to Australia, their wild life that kills you usually doesn’t WANT TO, which is honestly better than Canadian wildlife- like wolves don’t usually attack humans in a pack, but when they do, they do it for real, to eat you. Polar bears, grizzly’s, same deal. Moose won’t eat you, but they aren’t like a little blue ringed octopus who is like “oh, bugger, sorry land dweller, uh I thought you wanted to eat me…you ok? Mr?” Nope .moose attacks you, he is like “I’m gonna stomp you because I don’t like your FACE, fool. I’m pissed off and ready to fight, and all the girls are mine ! You hear? “ gore gore trample trample

“mfffaggghh I’m sorry!!! Idontaannamoosegirlfriendfuksake!”

“I can’t hear you… say it louder!” Stomp kick trample gore…

“Pleasegodno! “

“Yeah tell your friends. Don’t mess with Mr Moose. “

Even black bears, pretty chill compared to their bigger cousins, can kill you just trying to check out what you are, and occasionally feel inclined to murder you, like on purpose.

Aussie snake- he is just thinking you are a predator.

Shark mistakes you for a seal.

Jellyfish tho- creatures of the devil and a punishment for our sins.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆😆 The level of detail here Brandi 😆😆

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Heidi L's avatar

Living in Maine, I have at least a passing familiarity with much Canadian wildlife, including moose. But we don't have anything venomous, except for the occasional jellyfish, and I prefer it that way!

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Whats Going On Brandi Dawn's avatar

Advantage of angry mega fauna is that you do have a chance to see them (although less than people expect- like how do you hide Mr Moose? You are the size of a small truck yet invisible from 10 yards away”. I admit, that’s the thing that always freaks me green about poison creatures- they are usually small and well hidden, just hanging out, doing their thing, until we stomp on them or walk into them or sit on them …

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Stephen Beck Marcotte's avatar

Vacationland

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Heidi L's avatar

The Way Life Should Be

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Stephen Beck Marcotte's avatar

Dirigo

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KAMO284's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Mark Hayes's avatar

Ahhhhhh, sitting on a gorgeous beach in the sun and before you go in the water, you have to zip yourself into a hideous nylon onesie so the jellyfish don't murderlize you...

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Whats Going On Brandi Dawn's avatar

Yeah I did it in Cairns, but it was worth it for the coral reef, being from the Cold Canadian Prairie it was like … unreal. How is this even possible? 🪸🐠🪸🐟🐡🪸🐟🐬🐙🦑🦋🐢 if you are ever in the area go to Fitzroy island. Omg. Snorkel off the beach no worries, no currents, easy swimming, coral isn’t all dead, turtles, tang, clownfish, all the celebs from Finding Nemo hang out there, I got Dory’s autograph ….but it dissolved , sadly. 🙈

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Mark Hayes's avatar

After the longest bit of airplane travel ever, San Francisco to Los Angeles to Sydney to Cairns (where I fell into the hotel bed and slept till my flight the next morning) with nice long layovers in between each flight, I spent the night and then took a small plane out to Lizard Island, the farthest Island out to the north east on the reef. It's where Cook, while shipwrecked, repaired his ship and went to the top of the highest peak (one of the highest in the GBR) and spent days studying the reef so that he could plot a safe path out to sea.

There are only two things on Lizard Island, a rather amazing State Run oceanographic research facility and the resort. The resort is incredible, gorgeous cabins with decks and hammocks up on a bluff over the reef and, why I normally avoid anyplace that offers "all inclusive" like the plague, there really are no other options and that turned out to be just fine, amazing food and free, top shelf drinks whenever you wanted.

You could snorkel off of the beach and I did a couple of times (in the hideous onesie) but I went diving every other day for the 10 days I was there.

You've been there so you know that the ocean on the Reef is bathwater warm and the water is clear enough so you can see seemingly forever through your mask. If you dive off a boat, you learn that basically the sand floor of the reef is about 50 feet down, so even novice divers can get down to the bottom. It was light and life and beauty (and with the onesie I was safe from the evil finger sized jellyfish). I saw Manta and Stingrays, met a friendly nurse shark, petted a giant sturgeon (after being encouraged to do so by the Dive Master) and so many smaller impossibly colored fish!

I had the closest thing I will ever have to a religious experience diving off Lizard Island. On my last dive a Dive Master and me did a drift dive at the outer reef, literally just outside the reef. The way this works is that the boat drops you off and then, because they know the currents and how quickly you'll be moving, they're waiting for you before your air runs out.

It was incredible and terrifying at the same time. On one side of you, there was light, color, life and warmth on the other side. Nothing. It was void, like space must be, freezing cold no light whatsoever, bottomless. If you ever want things put in perspective and to understand just how insignificant you are, I highly suggest you do that...

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Heidi L's avatar

I had a similar experience diving in Bonaire. Most of the diving was beginner-deep to begin with (80 - 100 ft), but then there were these drop-offs... I swam past the edge of the "cliif" once or twice, and it felt like "it" wanted to pull me down.

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Whats Going On Brandi Dawn's avatar

So, when the world ends, I will see you in Cairns for groceries. I stuck closer to the big land at Fitzroy because a) I could afford it, and Lizard was for more expensive, and B) I have COPD so I wanted to stick like no more than an hour from a hospital , and someplace I could be sure to see coral and fish, without having to scuba dive , because Australian licensed Scuba instructors and operators can’t take someone with copd , unless they have an extensive set of tests from a dr specially certified in medicine for scuba diving. You can imagine there are a large number of doctors in Saskatchewan who would seek out that training, right? Lol. Lizard Island looks incredible though…envy envy… drool drool. When you booked out there, did the price include your flight to the island and dives? Or were those extra costs?

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Heidi L's avatar

I haven't been diving for years but was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure and am just now realizing, reading your post, that my last dive was probably my last. 😢

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Mark Hayes's avatar

This trip was just after my divorce and I realized that I hadn’t actually taken a vacation in years so I just decided to go big rather than stay home. I took a month, leaving right after Christmas. 10 days on Lizard Island, a night in Adelaide, then a drive into the McLaren Vale where one of my favorite wineries on the planet, d’Arenberg is. 10 days in a cottage in McLaren Vale exploring and going to wineries then back to Adelaide and a flight to Sydney for the final 10 days at a Holiday Inn on top of The Rocks looking across Circular Quay at the Opera House. Who knew Holiday Inn was actually upscale in Australia?

It was an incredible trip and I’m kind of glad I did it alone, I got to do and see all the things I was really interested in, meander and find neat bookstores, the Police Museum in Sydney (which, is amazing and is a great way to learn the history of Australia since colonization) and have a drink at the older continually open bar in Sydney (just a couple of blocks from my hotel)

And reading, tons of reading and no need to entertain anyone!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You make a point 😆. I went to Darwin Australia and was disappointed I couldn't swim in the ocean. So my friend took me to the pier and told me to look down. There were jellyfish fighting giant batfish. Swarms of them. Although apparently the real danger was the crocodiles 😆😆.

But I think it's also like Brandi's point below, we have dangerous things in Canada, but you get used to it, and if you live in a city you don't see many of them.

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Whats Going On Brandi Dawn's avatar

Top End ocean is brutal . I hear some places they have nets to keep the … everything… out. Lol

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Mark Hayes's avatar

I'm pasting in my reply to Brandi because I think it is appropriate to what you've written here. Never made it to Darwin but my experience with the Ocean in Australia was too far out for crocodiles!

After the longest bit of airplane travel ever, San Francisco to Los Angeles to Sydney to Cairns (where I fell into the hotel bed and slept till my flight the next morning) with nice long layovers in between each flight, I spent the night and then took a small plane out to Lizard Island, the farthest Island out to the north east on the reef. It's where Cook, while shipwrecked, repaired his ship and went to the top of the highest peak (one of the highest in the GBR) and spent days studying the reef so that he could plot a safe path out to sea.

There are only two things on Lizard Island, a rather amazing State Run oceanographic research facility and the resort. The resort is incredible, gorgeous cabins with decks and hammocks up on a bluff over the reef and why though I normally avoid anyplace that offers "all inclusive" like the plague, there really are no other options and that turned out to be just fine, amazing food and free, top shelf drinks whenever you wanted.

You could snorkel off of the beach and I did a couple of times (in the hideous onesie) but I went diving every other day for the 10 days I was there.

You've been there so you know that the ocean on the Reef is bathwater warm and the water is clear enough so you can see seemingly forever through your mask. If you dive off a boat, you learn that basically the sand floor of the reef is about 50 feet down, so even novice divers can get down to the bottom. It was light and life and beauty (and with the onesie I was safe from the evil finger sized jellyfish). I saw Manta and Stingrays, met a friendly nurse shark, petted a giant sturgeon (after being encouraged to do so by the Dive Master) and so many smaller impossibly colored fish!

I had the closest thing I will ever have to a religious experience diving off Lizard Island. On my last dive a Dive Master and me did a drift dive at the outer reef, literally just outside the reef. The way this works is that the boat drops you off and then, because they know the currents and how quickly you'll be moving, they're waiting for you before your air runs out.

It was incredible and terrifying at the same time. On one side of you, there was light, color, life and warmth on the other side. Nothing. It was void, like space must be, freezing cold no light whatsoever, bottomless. If you ever want things put in perspective and to understand just how insignificant you are, I highly suggest you do that...

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Sadie's avatar

Don't go to Ireland. Gorgeous place with lovely people, but way too close to us.

Brits, let's be honest, we're as likely to be the ones who kick shit off and for a small island country we have a hella tonne (scientific term) of nukes & nuclear subs. I also think nuclear reactors will be a prime target for nukes from other countries and my area has a whole load of nuclear related sites, including the docks where those trident submarines are made. And that’s just a ferry's skip and jump across a stretch of water from Ireland.

Admittedly, we align with the northern occupied section (occupied by who? Oh that's us, surprise to nobody, historically if a place was occupied/colonised you would have a good chance of Brits being the power hungry squatters). But anyway, yes, Ireland is wonderful, but too close to the OG warmongers here.

Anyhooo.

If I were to have a plan beyond frazzle with my family when the missiles hit, my ideal would be a quick skip to Switzerland with two empty trunks - one to fill with high quality snow gear, the other for chocolate (yes, chocolate). Then it would be Iceland for us (me and my trunks).

I've always had a bit of an obsession with Iceland, even though I'm not built for cold climes at all. Go figure. Even realists have fantasies, lol.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

*Crosses Ireland off the list. 😆

Solid points Sadie. And your apocalyptic plan sounds solid.

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Kathy Minicozzi's avatar

Thank you for the travel advice. I think I'll pass, though -- except for New Zealand. I could deal with living among the Maori's in a tropical paradise.

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Kay-El's avatar

If the bombs don’t pulverize you, the radiation fallout will. I think I’ll just wait it out at my house. At least I have a decent garden and a disaster kit.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Ok, we'll all head over to your house 😆

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Kay-El's avatar

Lol, it’s small but we have plenty of room in the back yard and we have tents. Only one bathroom so reserve your spot now.

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Heidi L's avatar

Anywhere I go, my doggies are definitely coming with me, which means likely watching the fireworks from the comfort of my home.

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Kay-El's avatar

Same, but one dog and one cat. They don’t like fireworks as it is.

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County Fence Bi-Annual's avatar

Some have argued that WW3 has been underway for a few years through proxy wars and online misinformation shenanigans. Also that this time around it won’t be nation against nation but nation against tech oligarchs. To my eye what’s happened in The US is a hostile takeover of the government by tech oligarchs. In Russia Putin made a deal long ago handing over the country to the oligarchs in return for continued power. Meanwhile China didn’t let independent business get a foothold which effectively made the same kind of environment where business and government are integrated already. I’ve just been waiting for a madman-style third nation to draw us all into war. My money was on North Korea doing something crazy but it looks like it’ll be Israel. So to my mind there’s nothing to do but ride out the apocalypse writing for Eastern Ontario’s oldest and most prestigious boundary and fencing publication. #SlackerRevolution.

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Heidi L's avatar

Agreed. If they hack the financial institutions, so people can't get cash or use credit cards, and hit the grid and water/sewer infrastructure, human nature will take care of the rest, sooner than you'd like to think.

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Amantine.B's avatar

So glad me lives in Heidiland 🫶🏻🤓👋

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆 Perfect, stay there haha

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Amantine.B's avatar

😂😂😂😂 👍

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Rich Feldman's avatar

My vote goes to Iceland, for one very important reason: Cooking lamb chops on the edge of a lava flow is truly great. After you've done that (as I have), it doesn't matter what happens next.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You should work for the Icelandic tourism board. I always wanted to visit, but it just moved further up my list.

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Rich Feldman's avatar

Gotta go! If you do, reach out -- I have a good friend that does photography tours, but will take just about anybody. Great guy. Looks like a Viking.

This'll inspire you further ...

https://richfeldmanphotography.com/iceland

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Sallyfemina's avatar

There's a science fiction story, called "Fermi and Frost" in which indeed Iceland is the only place to maintain civilization after the bombs. Because they can still power their tech with the geysers, and Iceland's so cold anyway that they can all survive the nuclear winter.

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Cormac McCreesh's avatar

What about South Africa?

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Oooh yes, that would be a great one. Solid wine, southern location, plenty to keep you busy. I'd go just to listen to the accent all day.

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Paul Schatzkin's avatar

Don’t bother. If there is a World War III, then — as was said in the aftermath of Hiroshima and Nagasaki — “The living will envy the dead.”

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Cat's avatar
6dEdited

You had me at Nuclear Bugaloo… I literally saw IceT in parachute pants and day glow🤣!

Hey, just a heads up also, you can take one time donations from a Venmo account. I did that when somebody just wanted to read one of my works! And they donated a lot more than I would have asked!! Substack is awesome😍

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Robin Wilding's avatar

IceT in dayglo 😆😆

That's an awesome suggestion Cat. I try to keep it here on Substack though, since they got me the peeps and deserve their cut. Also, it makes them send me more peeps in the algorithm so I can grow more. :)

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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

I'm commandeering you for my space ark, Wilding. My morale officer will settle for no less.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

WOOHOO! I wish we could use GIFs here, I'd use one of Homer Simpsons going 'woohoo'

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Stephen Beck Marcotte's avatar

Definitely NZ, Tasmania or Iceland for me!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Solid choices Stephen!

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Meg Sampson's avatar

There is a huge US military intelligence base in 'Straya. They're not going to be safe.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Good point. Although...aliens.

😆

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