25 Comments

As a person whose native language is not English and then learnt English in school and through TV, but then decided to move to New Zealand where English is different again, I feel this one so much. I've wondered more than once "do I even speak English? Or is everyone else wrong?" 🤔

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Can confirm, everyone is wrong. I apologize on behalf of my language.

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Winston Churchill allegedly described England and America as two countries separated by a common tongue. I now have 38 years’ experience acting as an English-to-American translator for friends in Texas watching BBC shows, including taking long breaks to explain biros, brollies, and Daleks.

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Daleks 😆😆

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Of those words I only know Daleks 😁

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Thank an English-to-American translator. (I have an FBI record for allegedly selling government secrets to the Daleks because of that level of American cultural illiteracy in the 1980s.)

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The science fiction author H. Beam Piper summed things thusly: “English was created so Norman soldiers could ask out Saxon barmaids, and it’s just as illegitimate as anything else that came out of those unions.”

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😆That's phenomenal . I love your memory for the obscure!

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Sep 18Liked by Robin Wilding

Kudos! (wherever that word came from)

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Sep 18Liked by Robin Wilding

A much downgraded version of this kind of poetry runs on a loop in my brain all the time... And it gets worse with every iteration... Such is the delight of English as a second language.

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Well English does appear to become downgraded with every iteration...so I think you're par for the course there.

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Sep 18Liked by Robin Wilding

Well, your threats to have someone grow a mullet if I didn’t sub failed. I have been a sub since the begin—see how cool and young I can be by shortening some words?—and my daughter married her high school sweetheart, Mister Mullet, himself.

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James, absolutely--you are one of my first ever readers!!! It's been almost two years now, wow.

Did your daughter birth mini mullets?

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I'm disturbed by how true some of this is. HOW IS MOOSE NOT MEESE? I worked in construction my whole life and anytime Spanish-only-speaking men were on the job and we couldn't communicate with them, PARTICULAR men I worked with always said, "We live in America! Why don't they just learn to speak English!" Well...your poem my hint at why. Haha.

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And if plural of mouse is mice, what is plural of spouse?

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Obviously…its spice. Is it because we never talk about one spouse at a time?

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Brilliant! I’ve seen a number of odes such as this; this is one of the best!

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"but beef isn’t beaves" << Again...dead 🤣🤣 And hice.

Does all of this come from your head? Did you make this up? Why aren't you famous?

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“I hate messes to pieces”! - Mr. Jinx the cat. I love English because it always invites new words! From every culture new words come!

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I enjoyed the poem

BUT

Beeves IS the plural of beef.

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I loved this, Robin, and how delightful to hear you are a fellow Canuckian. I could answer almost all of your wonderings (I studied Linguistics and have bored many people with my explanations, so there you go, I’m totally qualified). 😁

Language is fun! 💕

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Was grinning while(s)t reading.😁

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OMG! you are a genius Robin! truly, brilliant! thankyou.

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Totally hilarious. My favorite is anthropomorphism

You can thank your "brother" Jason for the intro.

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Lol English is peanuts compared to Spanish... honestly.

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