The science fiction author H. Beam Piper summed things thusly: “English was created so Norman soldiers could ask out Saxon barmaids, and it’s just as illegitimate as anything else that came out of those unions.”
Oh, I’m just getting started. Just wait until you hear about the song about someone allegedly a relative of mine on my father’s side, written and performed by someone who IS a distant relative on my mother’s. Odds are, you’ve heard it a lot in the last 47 years, too.
As a person whose native language is not English and then learnt English in school and through TV, but then decided to move to New Zealand where English is different again, I feel this one so much. I've wondered more than once "do I even speak English? Or is everyone else wrong?" 🤔
Winston Churchill allegedly described England and America as two countries separated by a common tongue. I now have 38 years’ experience acting as an English-to-American translator for friends in Texas watching BBC shows, including taking long breaks to explain biros, brollies, and Daleks.
Thank an English-to-American translator. (I have an FBI record for allegedly selling government secrets to the Daleks because of that level of American cultural illiteracy in the 1980s.)
I'm disturbed by how true some of this is. HOW IS MOOSE NOT MEESE? I worked in construction my whole life and anytime Spanish-only-speaking men were on the job and we couldn't communicate with them, PARTICULAR men I worked with always said, "We live in America! Why don't they just learn to speak English!" Well...your poem my hint at why. Haha.
I...don't know where it comes from. I hear a phrase or idea, it swirls around in my brain for days or week, I do some research, some stuff falls out of my brain bucket--and a piece happens.
As for why I'm not famous? I'm assuming its because my humor appeals to a small sub section of (broken) society--but those who get it, get it. That or I just haven't been 'discovered' yet.
A much downgraded version of this kind of poetry runs on a loop in my brain all the time... And it gets worse with every iteration... Such is the delight of English as a second language.
I don’t know how to post a screenshot of my Merriam-Webster app showing that at least they think it’s a real word.
But, they don’t show any etymology, so I don’t know where it came from and when. I’ve read it in a story about the people who drove livestock to London hundreds of years ago.
I loved this, Robin, and how delightful to hear you are a fellow Canuckian. I could answer almost all of your wonderings (I studied Linguistics and have bored many people with my explanations, so there you go, I’m totally qualified). 😁
The science fiction author H. Beam Piper summed things thusly: “English was created so Norman soldiers could ask out Saxon barmaids, and it’s just as illegitimate as anything else that came out of those unions.”
😆That's phenomenal . I love your memory for the obscure!
Oh, I’m just getting started. Just wait until you hear about the song about someone allegedly a relative of mine on my father’s side, written and performed by someone who IS a distant relative on my mother’s. Odds are, you’ve heard it a lot in the last 47 years, too.
As a person whose native language is not English and then learnt English in school and through TV, but then decided to move to New Zealand where English is different again, I feel this one so much. I've wondered more than once "do I even speak English? Or is everyone else wrong?" 🤔
Can confirm, everyone is wrong. I apologize on behalf of my language.
Winston Churchill allegedly described England and America as two countries separated by a common tongue. I now have 38 years’ experience acting as an English-to-American translator for friends in Texas watching BBC shows, including taking long breaks to explain biros, brollies, and Daleks.
Daleks 😆😆
Of those words I only know Daleks 😁
Thank an English-to-American translator. (I have an FBI record for allegedly selling government secrets to the Daleks because of that level of American cultural illiteracy in the 1980s.)
I'm disturbed by how true some of this is. HOW IS MOOSE NOT MEESE? I worked in construction my whole life and anytime Spanish-only-speaking men were on the job and we couldn't communicate with them, PARTICULAR men I worked with always said, "We live in America! Why don't they just learn to speak English!" Well...your poem my hint at why. Haha.
Sounds like they need to read my poem...and then learn Spanish.
And if plural of mouse is mice, what is plural of spouse?
Obviously…its spice. Is it because we never talk about one spouse at a time?
😆😆 Nice one Sheila.
Brilliant! I’ve seen a number of odes such as this; this is one of the best!
Thank you sooo much Robert!
"but beef isn’t beaves" << Again...dead 🤣🤣 And hice.
Does all of this come from your head? Did you make this up? Why aren't you famous?
Yay--I got more Kristi's dying laughs!
I...don't know where it comes from. I hear a phrase or idea, it swirls around in my brain for days or week, I do some research, some stuff falls out of my brain bucket--and a piece happens.
As for why I'm not famous? I'm assuming its because my humor appeals to a small sub section of (broken) society--but those who get it, get it. That or I just haven't been 'discovered' yet.
Lol @ broken society. I've been a member there for a while. We live in a back alley.
Nice, come find me. I'm behind the Taco Bell Dumpster, sleeping in chalupa wrappers.
Kudos! (wherever that word came from)
A much downgraded version of this kind of poetry runs on a loop in my brain all the time... And it gets worse with every iteration... Such is the delight of English as a second language.
Well English does appear to become downgraded with every iteration...so I think you're par for the course there.
Yep the pronunciation is not too hard. But the grammar! Fuck me sideways.
Love that phrase 'fuck me sideways'. 😆
Haha me too. It confuses some people though 🤔
“I hate messes to pieces”! - Mr. Jinx the cat. I love English because it always invites new words! From every culture new words come!
The new additions to English can be pretty awesome.
I enjoyed the poem
BUT
Beeves IS the plural of beef.
Can a made-up word be wrong? Yes, yes it can. I think you're right about beeves.
I don’t know how to post a screenshot of my Merriam-Webster app showing that at least they think it’s a real word.
But, they don’t show any etymology, so I don’t know where it came from and when. I’ve read it in a story about the people who drove livestock to London hundreds of years ago.
I loved this, Robin, and how delightful to hear you are a fellow Canuckian. I could answer almost all of your wonderings (I studied Linguistics and have bored many people with my explanations, so there you go, I’m totally qualified). 😁
Language is fun! 💕
Thanks Sheila! Although you sound far more qualified to explain this than I am though hehe.
But not nearly as clever or entertaining!💕You’re awesome.
Was grinning while(s)t reading.😁
😆 Well played Bernhard, well played.
OMG! you are a genius Robin! truly, brilliant! thankyou.
Aww thank you so much Tony!!
Totally hilarious. My favorite is anthropomorphism
You can thank your "brother" Jason for the intro.
Thanks Susan! I'll have to send my brotha-from-anotha-motha Jason a cookie.
Lol English is peanuts compared to Spanish... honestly.
I love Spanish! At least its words are pronounced like they're spelled and aren't full of silent letters haha
🤣🤣