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Jessica's avatar

At university in the 80s, I remember a library desk graffiti conversation: several men boasting about the length of their schlongs, and a woman writing BIG PENISES HURT YOU DIPSHITS. Radio silence 🤣🤣🤣

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Robin Wilding's avatar

🤣 That woman is fantastic.

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An innocent 8 year old child's avatar

Well to be faaaiiir…

I’ve had plenty of friends that are women over the years and been around for a lot of conversations, and I’ve literally never heard a woman say she’s ok with a normal sized dude. I’m not saying they aren’t the majority, just that those women don’t talk about it from what I’ve seen. But ‘size queens’ don’t shut up about it. That’ll throw guys off even more than porn.

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Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

That’s super hard to understand since I am a woman who talks to women all the time and we all essentially agree anything remotely average is fine and huge ones are more a novelty.

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An innocent 8 year old child's avatar

That's the thing. You're women talking to women, not women talking to men.

When women talk to men, it's usually not average women talking about average things, just the same way you don't run around bragging about how unspicy your last meal was, but someone who loves extremely spicy food won't shut up about it. Most people are driving sedans and minivans vs. high speed sports cars. But what do people talk about the most? The sports cars. People talk about novelty more than average. That's why it's called *novelty.* It's 'novel'.

When women talk to men about liking average size, it's usually in a 'No honey it's ok.' reassuring them kind of way, and guys often just don't believe them and think they're telling them what they want to hear.

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Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

I’d suggest you stop obsessing about it. Women do not care — at least not 99 percent of us. You contradict me, a woman, on this. Ok. If you’re DETERMINED to believe people other than women, go ahead. It’s your life.

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An innocent 8 year old child's avatar

See this is exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm not obsessing over it. I'm telling you why men don't know, because women aren't talking about it. And no wonder; look how you're behaving after one comment. You've become completely irrational as soon as the subject was brought up. No wonder guys have issues around discussing it.

If a men tried to tell you about your own body, you'd scoff at the audacity. Well, *you're* telling *me* what it's like to be a man? Get over yourself hun.

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Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

No, dude, I’m telling you what women say when in women’s spaces. You don’t like that, even though you brought it up. I’m done here.

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E Mark Moore's avatar

You see, THIS is why the world needs Robin Wilding.

Best Sunday morning read ever!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Aww thanks so much Mark :)

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Dan Stocke's avatar

This is hilarious. My trouser trout (from what I can tell) enjoyed it as well.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I'm glad you and your tickle pickle enjoyed it Dan!

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Dan Stocke's avatar

FYI: A tickled tickle pickle tickles (I can attest).

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Darcy Fiona McNair's avatar

This is one if the funniest pieces I've read in a long time! 🤣 I can now speak intelligently on the subject of dynamic euphamisms.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 Thank you so much Darcy!

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Raveen's avatar

'...almost 70% of men had concerns about the size of their womb broom.'

When you think about it, these macho-like tendencies and impulses to make such comparisons inherent in our patriarchal society really are unhealthy....especially in terms of our mental health and self-esteem.

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

Good hands and talented touchy feely fingers are more important than the size of the schlong.

🤣🤣🤣

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 100%!!

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Larry Huber's avatar

Thanks for the vocabulary of descriptive terms. They and you are phenomenal.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You're welcome--glad you liked it! :)

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Anne Greer McSpadden's avatar

Now that’s funny.

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Deacon Ferrocarril's avatar

Women used to like big penis'. Is it that men with big penis have been discriminated against so much that there are no big penis' left? Im depressed now, come on Niner, I'll treat you to a strip show and lap dance.

💼 🚶 🤣

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Robin Wilding's avatar

🤣🤣 You poor thing Deacon. #StopBigDhate

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Deacon Ferrocarril's avatar

✌️, well, actually, 🫴, sort of, 🤣

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You have the elite emoji game of a man with a much smaller penis.

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Deacon Ferrocarril's avatar

When I was a kid I thought I was special because I had a public hair, then I pee'd out of it! 🤣

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Robin Wilding's avatar

🤣

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Deacon Ferrocarril's avatar

😔 you made me, I'm hung like Donald Trump on a cold day. 🫣 😂

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I'm not sure of much in life, but I'm sure you're hung-er than Baby-Hands Trump.

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Deacon Ferrocarril's avatar

Oh, who knows! You'd think I was a monk from how long it's been since he's seen the open air and Gina! Hahaha I tell you Im so celibate the Pope has me on speed dial for advice! 🤣

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Peter William Murphy's avatar

I need to upgrade to to paid. I need answers... I must know!!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

🤣 No need, I blow my load for free.

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Dean Michael Love's avatar

… ‘penis fly trap’. 🤣🤣🤣

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Soul University's avatar

LOL - the most 'rewarded' guys I know - they crave cuddling more than plowing . . . . go figure!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Maybe that's because they lose consciousness when they get a woody?

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C. L. Sullivan's avatar

I've tried to empathize this with partners several times to no avail. Now, I'll admit I need more than a fully erect size of those little pencils they give you to score mini golf, and I'm definitely fearful of seeing THAT again, but I dislike the giant ones just as much - they hurt and they're impossible for oral and handjobs. Regular size is just fine.... It's more what they do with it. Oddly, it's usually the larger (but not giant) guys that are worthless - it's all about them, they figure their size is enough for me, and they usually don't go downtown either. No matter what I tell the regular sized guys though, they always think I'm lying and are often apologetic/mournful of their perfectly normal taco soldiers. On the other hand, they try harder, and actually care about my seeing my O face repeatedly, so maybe it's for the best...

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Desiree Brown-Quilty's avatar

Lol! ❤️

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Denise Shelton's avatar

A bit

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Belle Du Journey's avatar

Good question. As someone who writes about sex and sexuality often, I’d say it is a very personal preference. For some women, size is a huge thing. No pun intended. For others, size can be problematic.

In my experience, size doesn’t matter as much as women say it does. What matters is finding a man who wants to pleasure a woman. There are toys that can compensate for a lack of girth or length.

What really matters is great connection. Size is merely one piece in the equation.

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