71 Comments
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Sylvia's avatar

Number 4 just doesn't work at my age. My nipples have gone south for the winter and they don't appear to be ever coming back. They may be languishing in an ICE concentration camp in Florida. (Happy Canada Day!)

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆😆 Not the ICE camp in Florida hahahah

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Linda Silfven's avatar

I, like many women (I suspect), love lists, so I loved this article! So many unusual items. “Walk like you’re wearing a cape” is one I’m going to try because I have bad posture. It just might work!

I look forward to many more lists from your wild and crazy brain!

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The Mouthy Renegade Writer's avatar

Damn, Sis. More brilliance. Another life tip: Don't read Robin's articles with a full bladder and without Depends. 😆

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thanks Bro. Excellent life tip 😆

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Gillie's avatar

#42 Pay zero attention to the new popular body style. Tune out that noise, take good care of yourself without worrying about trying to fit into the hot new look. Not everyone has the ability to be tall or thin or curvy or be boobs-a-licious,or whatever is the new look.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

100%!

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Andrea Ingalsbe's avatar

Great list! Just wanted to say that my flip flops recently tried to kill me and I’m looking forward to your piece about this subject.

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Courtney 🇨🇦's avatar

Real talk: Probably the most insightful and helpful list of life tips I've ever read. I'm totally trying the laser nipple thing.

As someone with a raging case of ADHD (it's my superpower) I can attest to #25 being a total game changer. Also known as the OHIO rule - Only Handle It Once.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Yay, I'm glad you liked the list. I thought I had some options that weren't just helpful but entertaining. Why do life tips I read always have to be so damnedd dry 😆.

Try the laser nipple thing, it's hilarious to do.

OHIO--awesome, that will make it easier to remember.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Fembots! Pew pew pew!

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Courtney 🇨🇦's avatar

Trust me, the dryness works exactly as intended and your ability to make me spew coffee out of my nostrils is always a given. I had to reread #15 like four times because the sheer ridiculousness made my brain short-circuit. 😆

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

Hmmm, nipple lasers and a cape.... works for me.

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Sean McCoy Writes's avatar

#19 has long been a truth in my life. ❤️

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I have to say it's one of the best self-improvement tips I've ever put into play. I'm glad it's working for you too :)

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Sean McCoy Writes's avatar

That is one of the things I miss about my last job, working with exceptionally bright people.

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Robert A Mosher (he/him)'s avatar

I got rather lucky on that one, it happened about the time I put in for retirement- but at the moment of realization itself my first reaction was “we are so screwed”

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Robot Bender's avatar

Re: farting. Just yell that you're practicing to be a cropdusting pilot.

You can also go anywhere if you wear a suit and carry a clipboard full of papers.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 Cropdusting pilot is brilliant. So is the suit and clipboard of papers. Thanks Bender.

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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

What a gift is this list. Numbers 4, 6, 10: immediately embracing them as life mantras. And #38 explains how He Who Shall Not Be Named Except By Robin Wilding became the leader of the once-free world.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Ahh you caught that about 38 huh? 😆

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Christopher Manson's avatar

39. If you poop more than once a day and it's not diarrhea, you're probably eating healthy.

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Sean Berry's avatar

How dare you! I take umbrage with number 15. Eating pizza alone is neither mundane nor sad! I ate plenty of pizzas alone when I was separated! It was great! 😋🤣

Challenge accepted (I love the challenge)! 🍕

- - - -

Luv ya, gurl! Happy Canada Day!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

True, it's not mundane or sad. That was just the only example I could think of at the time and it was too funny not to use haha.

Happy Canada Day!

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Brooke Craig's avatar

Love these! And I actually tell my organizing clients to use #25 all the freaking time! (We’ll ignore the fact that I now often don’t wash my own dinner pans and dishes until the next morning, okay? It’s much more engaging to watch yet another episode of some Commonwealth mystery show on Britbox or Acorns!).

I’m looking forward to your future posts and I’m once again reminded that I need to get off my ass and finish writing my own Substack posts since it’s been a minute 🙄

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Dishes and pans take time, so making that tomorrow you's problem feels fine. I'm guilty of that too sometimes.

*Cracks whip* finish your post.

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Brooke Craig's avatar

Yeah, well stop being so funny! And maybe my dumbass president and republican “lawmakers” should stop creating shit storms and creating clickbait for my ADHD menopausal brain 🤪.

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Musings on Interesting Times's avatar

First of all, I love your mom!💕 and numbers 10, 29 are lessons I need to incorporate ( well, 29, I try for 10 always), and 32 just sent me rolling! Brilliant list from a fellow list lover.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

My mom is truly awesome. Excellent choices, and I'm so happy you're a fellow list lover :)

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Dan Levine's avatar

you didn't need to tell me - i could see you like lists. don't stop! you are making lists great again.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Pfft, lists were never not great 😆

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Leanne Shirtliffe's avatar

Love the lasers and cape posture advice. My trainer likes to tell me (this sounds so freaking pretentious - but I have early-diagnosed osteoporosis - lucky me!) ...anyway, her version of posture tweaking is "bush first." I think of this at least once a day. It helps me more than lasers because, well, I'd likely take out my own toe with lasers...

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆😆 I love your trainer. Bush first is frickin hilarious. Tell her the laser nipple one next time see you see her, give her another option.

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Leanne Shirtliffe's avatar

I will pass it along. 😆 She will love the lasers. Lasers and bush...

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