He lied right to my face. He said I was getting 6 inches, but sigh, it was only 3, tops. I trusted him before this chilling deceit. Perhaps I shouldn’t have relied on him having a trustworthy face and a bachelor’s degree. But shouldn’t a degree in the sciences be a trustworthy endeavor?
I guess meteorology is more trust-inducing than it should be, and I was snowblind in love.
Oh, I’m talking about the weatherman and the 6 inches of blizzard he promised. But it turns out — it was flake news.
He was just snowing off.
I guess that’s what happens when you let a man measure it. It was 3 inches at absolute max. What can I say — I call ‘em like icy ’em. Although, I’m Canadian and we use the metric system. So 3 inches is 7.6 centimeters. Maybe the weatherman measures in metric. Although the snow math still doesn’t add up.
I know I’m a bit of a snow queen, but I like my snow heavy and wet. Bonus point if it’s gone by sunrise, so I don’t have to shovel it. And ideally after coldly going where no snowman has gone before.
Now I know if it’s your first time seeing a snowfall, then 3" will probably feel like a lot. But for those of us who’ve been opened up to long, hard winters — we don’t bat an eye at 3 inches. We’re used to getting snowed. I want to be snowverhwlemed
Sure, it’s enough to make snowballs, but enough to make a snowman? I think not.
It’s enough for a snow quickie, but it won’t be toe-curling. It’s still fun and all, but I doubt it’s enough to give us a full snowgasm. With only 3 inches I think even the ski resorts might have to fake it.
They say though, that it’s not the amount that counts, it’s how long it snows and how long it lasts. Then there’s also the motion of the snowcean. After all, it’s not the inches of the snow — it’s how you plow the driveway right? Will it be a quick snowjob, or will it last long and be in snow-motion?
Maybe I’ll just snowblow it.
Location matters too, 3 inches in the front yard feels different than 3 in the back. That volume on the highway is fine, it might be enough to get the roads slippery but it’s still doable. On the backroads however, somebody could end up getting hurt. And nobody wants to get Polar-oids.
That amount could bring California to its knees, but up here in Canada we aren’t going to bat a frozen eyelash.
Your snowsperience also depends on how long the snow lasts. Then there’s the effort put into your time together. Maybe it’s enough snow that a quick shoveling will do — even thought we’re looking for good plow. A little snow might make you a little late for work, but it’s not enough for a full snowday.
Perhaps we should give the Pinnochio-ing meteorologist the benefit of the snowdoubt though. Measuring snow is hard. You have to really push the ruler down into the base of the snow to get an accurate measuring. You have to measure from the dirt, not the grass. And if you trim the bushes the snow will look bigger.
Also, in the snow inches defense — it was really cold today.
Perhaps I didn’t give the 3" of snow enough of a chance. I didn’t take the diameter of the flakes into the equation. That makes a difference, right?
Or maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong. Sure, 3" isn’t enough to go full ski-bunny on, and it’s not enough for a good plowing— but you can still have fun playing with it. It’s also plenty if you’re going to eat it like a snowcone. A little snowjob can be fun sometimes.
But you’re still going to have to spend some time salting the driveway.
Plus, too much snow and plowing is hard on the back.
Even though 3 inches is what one might call a ‘bless your heart’ amount of snow — at the end of the day, it’s not the amount of snow, it’s how you use it. And any amount still makes you a snowman.
I guess I’m just happy it snowed.
For those avid readers following along lately with my new romantic life…No, this story wasn’t about ‘meteorological’ Mike 😆
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