Just down the road from me, there is a life-size (82 ft/25 meter) blue whale sculpture named Ethyl. She is made of recycled polyethylene, and resides on the campus of Santa Fe Community College. She even lights up at night! I don’t know how much water she would hold, but there were a lot of retired water bottles that went into her creation. Photos of Ethyl at https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/ethyl-the-whale
I once had a client at a major corporation who carried a Gulpzilla 9000 filled with Mountain Dew everywhere he went. To this day, I can't figure out a) why anyone took him seriously; and, b) how he managed to live past the age of 50.
Well, Code Red is Tahitian Treat with a shit ton of added caffeine...
I've been buying Mexican Coca Cola for years (one of the great advantages of living in California) but last year I discovered Mexican Squirt! It's absolutely the best hot weather soda and doesn't taste all chemically like American made sodas...
Bonus, like Mexican Coke, it's in tall glass bottles (in Squirt's case with a groovy spiral around the gripping area).
Love when I can get Mexican Coke! Haven't had Mexican Squirt, but I have an old quart bottle of the original from the 60s and it has exactly the swirl you're talking about.
I used to love Code Red until the Type 2 was diagnosed; Diet Code Red is scarcer than hen's teeth, but it can occasionally be found down south.
The skyjuice (!) from my collapsible silicone hydration unit (NO it doesn't have a battery) just went up my nose while I laughed at this, so thanks for that.
You know, one way this article could be read is that you wrote it to brag about your water bottle and how big and girthy it is.
It’s not the size, Robin, it’s what you do with your water bottle. Do you whip it out for show like it does all the work, always at a mediocre level even by the end of the day, or can you completely empty it and refill it and be ready to go again, for hours and hours?
Robin - you are a talented biotch! Looove your made up words!! Keep on rockin’ it out sistah! Just subscribed for the year - b/c after reading this post and being a harcore H2hoe, I peed myself laughing.
Yes, this GenXer also has an emotional support bottle. I have the 32oz hydro flask covered in stickers - some from non-profits I like and loosely support and some pithy quotes and a couple for my Alma mater and a writing group I’m in. I also have other water bottles, mostly ones my kids left behind and a slim hydro flask that I use with the tiny bottle pocket on my travel purse and a couple of other ones if the larger hydro flask is dirty. I do actually wash my bottles at least every couple of uses though 🙂. And I never, ever, ever leave home without one.
And yes, mine are filled with water 90% of the time. And no, I don’t put alcohol in them - the other 10% goes to coffee drinks (different bottle though) and electrolyte powder drinks to relieve the over-hydration symptoms (actually, I’ve dealt with orthostatic symptoms since childhood and I don’t eat a lot of salty foods - hence, the electrolyte necessity). If I’m going to drink a cocktail or wine, I’m sure as hell going to use a real glass - I’m not a heathen, geez.
But yes, I pee more than most humans and I leave the sticker covered bottle at home the first few times I work with a new decluttering or design client until I can figure out if said walking billboard of my soul might offend them with my liberal politics (cafes for the homeless and special needs baristas - gasp!) or they just might think I’m immature and unprofessional - in which case, do I really want to work with them??
I’m a hydroflasker😂 I chipped my front tooth about it, even. I did have it fixed, but I was going down the SAME bad dirt road (for work) and drinking while I drove. Chipped it again, and decided I’m stupid and it’s just a small chip. It’s not fixed.
It’s the easiest one to clean, and it doesn’t eventually taste weird, like after a whole day in a hot car and my hot pack. Also, it keeps ice water the longest. I just try not to be stupid with it, and only drink when I’m still. 🤣
My brother in law caught strep from never washing the water bottle. Mine goes in dishwasher every 4 days. That’s how long it takes two old farts to run out of their favorite dishes. 👹
I worked with a psychotherapist once who claimed that our constant need to carry water bottles was a replacement for access to breastfeeding. Think she kind of had a point. 👶
Yep. That was the theory. We all want to get back to the comfort of a maternal breast. She was a psychiatrist and a psychotherapists… very clever woman. Who am I to argue?
Just down the road from me, there is a life-size (82 ft/25 meter) blue whale sculpture named Ethyl. She is made of recycled polyethylene, and resides on the campus of Santa Fe Community College. She even lights up at night! I don’t know how much water she would hold, but there were a lot of retired water bottles that went into her creation. Photos of Ethyl at https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/ethyl-the-whale
Oh wow Ethyl is beautiful!!
That's actually rather beautiful, on multiple levels...
Is Ethyl cold? (IYKYK)
I’m not sure. I will have to Go Ask Alice.
Hello, hurray!
I once had a client at a major corporation who carried a Gulpzilla 9000 filled with Mountain Dew everywhere he went. To this day, I can't figure out a) why anyone took him seriously; and, b) how he managed to live past the age of 50.
So what you're saying is, Mountain Drew (or Brawndo, probably) is the fountain of youth?
Yah, you can call it the Mountain of Youth ... or the Mountain's Fountain
I've seen Game of Thrones. You don't fuck with The Mountain...
Hopefully the Gulpzilla 9000 wasn't clear; Mtn Dew comes in a green bottle for a reason. And it's also my go-to go juice and I'm pushing 60. 😁
For the record this was not disparaging Mtn Dew per se … it was commentary on drinking 2 gallons of it at a time
Maybe he stayed fit carrying it around 👹
Actually, I think he weighed about 300 pounds.
I mean, really, who doesn't like Moonshine liquor? It's Everclear that you couldn't possibly be disparaging The Dew...
I still miss a soda abortion from the late 70s: Rondo, Lightly carbonated so you can SLAM IT DOWN!
Never had it, but I do like the lighter carbonation of Mtn Dew...
Speaking of olde sodas, I also used to enjoy Tahitian Treat, which was essentially reincarnated as Mtn Dew Code Red.
Well, Code Red is Tahitian Treat with a shit ton of added caffeine...
I've been buying Mexican Coca Cola for years (one of the great advantages of living in California) but last year I discovered Mexican Squirt! It's absolutely the best hot weather soda and doesn't taste all chemically like American made sodas...
Bonus, like Mexican Coke, it's in tall glass bottles (in Squirt's case with a groovy spiral around the gripping area).
Love when I can get Mexican Coke! Haven't had Mexican Squirt, but I have an old quart bottle of the original from the 60s and it has exactly the swirl you're talking about.
I used to love Code Red until the Type 2 was diagnosed; Diet Code Red is scarcer than hen's teeth, but it can occasionally be found down south.
Homey don't play diet soda!
"it is infused with Himalayan salt and the ether of bergamot essential oil..."
I always know I'm reading a youngin's post when I see something like this.
Gin. Duh.
Ooh am I the 'youngin'? Yay!
Gin in a 3-liter jug sounds dangerous 😆
That’s why you need two, so you don’t run out.
Two words that make this piece of writing epically funny to me: "Faucet jizz"
Thank you for this! 🤣🤣🤣
😆😆 You're welcome Carly.
The skyjuice (!) from my collapsible silicone hydration unit (NO it doesn't have a battery) just went up my nose while I laughed at this, so thanks for that.
collapsible silicone hydration unit? Jan, you're living in the future clearly.
American here. Needed this funny uplift today so thank you. You're a talented writer!
I'm glad you got a laugh Kimberlyanne, I'm tying to bring a little cheer during otherwise rough times.
You know, one way this article could be read is that you wrote it to brag about your water bottle and how big and girthy it is.
It’s not the size, Robin, it’s what you do with your water bottle. Do you whip it out for show like it does all the work, always at a mediocre level even by the end of the day, or can you completely empty it and refill it and be ready to go again, for hours and hours?
😆😆 Nice one Sam. I'm definitely the latter. Ready to go again for hours and hours (with many, many pee breaks).
I too hydrate all day long.
🤣😂🤣 I stopped carrying one because it was too heavy on hikes; I got tired of the bruised hip, too.
😆😆The hip bruise is so real.
Robin - you are a talented biotch! Looove your made up words!! Keep on rockin’ it out sistah! Just subscribed for the year - b/c after reading this post and being a harcore H2hoe, I peed myself laughing.
Aww thank you so much Rachel!!!
And ooh la la a 'wee'd-from-laughter' is the top compliment for us humor writers.
Yes, this GenXer also has an emotional support bottle. I have the 32oz hydro flask covered in stickers - some from non-profits I like and loosely support and some pithy quotes and a couple for my Alma mater and a writing group I’m in. I also have other water bottles, mostly ones my kids left behind and a slim hydro flask that I use with the tiny bottle pocket on my travel purse and a couple of other ones if the larger hydro flask is dirty. I do actually wash my bottles at least every couple of uses though 🙂. And I never, ever, ever leave home without one.
And yes, mine are filled with water 90% of the time. And no, I don’t put alcohol in them - the other 10% goes to coffee drinks (different bottle though) and electrolyte powder drinks to relieve the over-hydration symptoms (actually, I’ve dealt with orthostatic symptoms since childhood and I don’t eat a lot of salty foods - hence, the electrolyte necessity). If I’m going to drink a cocktail or wine, I’m sure as hell going to use a real glass - I’m not a heathen, geez.
But yes, I pee more than most humans and I leave the sticker covered bottle at home the first few times I work with a new decluttering or design client until I can figure out if said walking billboard of my soul might offend them with my liberal politics (cafes for the homeless and special needs baristas - gasp!) or they just might think I’m immature and unprofessional - in which case, do I really want to work with them??
'i'm not a hethen, geez' 😆
It sounds like you've got your hydration game hilariously on point Brooke. But you make some excellent points about your walking billboard.
Love this! I have an Owala that I love. The monster water bottles don’t work in the car cup holder. Rotfl 🤣
Clearly we need bigger cupholders now!
Under the spell of sipnosis…♥️
Samesies hehe
I’m a hydroflasker😂 I chipped my front tooth about it, even. I did have it fixed, but I was going down the SAME bad dirt road (for work) and drinking while I drove. Chipped it again, and decided I’m stupid and it’s just a small chip. It’s not fixed.
😆😆 You're just living with the chipped tooth instead of giving up your bottle. I love the dedication Shelly.
It’s the easiest one to clean, and it doesn’t eventually taste weird, like after a whole day in a hot car and my hot pack. Also, it keeps ice water the longest. I just try not to be stupid with it, and only drink when I’m still. 🤣
My brother in law caught strep from never washing the water bottle. Mine goes in dishwasher every 4 days. That’s how long it takes two old farts to run out of their favorite dishes. 👹
Ouch, strep sucks. 4 days sounds like a solid rotation plan.
Are you sure you're just drinking water?! 🤣 I never had a sippy cup so can't comment on the need.
Yeah. This is me SOBER 😆😆
I worked with a psychotherapist once who claimed that our constant need to carry water bottles was a replacement for access to breastfeeding. Think she kind of had a point. 👶
Well, damn. 😆😆
Yep. That was the theory. We all want to get back to the comfort of a maternal breast. She was a psychiatrist and a psychotherapists… very clever woman. Who am I to argue?
Please don't ruin boobies with academia or logic...
Because boobies?
It's always because boobies.
Duh.