71 Comments
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Jeff Hayward's avatar

Please don’t find us.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

You make a good point 😆

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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

I don't have to look far to find an introvert, as I'm married to one. The rewards are rich, but it does require some knowledge and skill. Kind of like adopting a rescue greyhound.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

A rescue greyhound 😆. Smart move marrying one though.

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Suessl's avatar

Who is good with power tools.

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Sandra S. Oitzinger's avatar

Robin, as aforementioned, I am a Montanan. The following, then, hit home: “Occasionally, you may see an introvert running feral in the wild.” In recent memory, that would’ve been Ted Kaczynski.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Ok, maybe not THAT introvert 😆

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Sandra S. Oitzinger's avatar

Hahahaha!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Introvert here. We don't want to be saved.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

...you make a good point 😆

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Scherer's avatar

Hmm... I am in urgent need of an extreme ironing afficionado... or maybe an ambulant thesaurus would be more useful.... competitive Mallard herding ( specifically Mallards and not generic ducks) also sounds handy too. It sounds like I'm starting a collection....

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Robin Wilding's avatar

It definitely sounds like you need an introvert in your life then. And of course Mallard, who wants to herd basic ducks? 😆

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Scherer's avatar

Indeed! I need an introvert in my life, in fact I need a whole herd of them. The question is can introverts tolerate "being herded" or would keeping them in a large group ( more than one) be cruel?

As for the ducks - No local Mallard with an iota of self-respect will be herded with a basic, generic duck

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Robin Wilding's avatar

My first instinct might be to say they prefer to be kept alone. But perhaps that's a Freudian slip for left alone.

lol at the Mallard line.

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Gina Rovello-Martinez's avatar

I didn't just adopt one - I married him. ☺️

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Oooh, smooth move!

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Stephanie Church's avatar

I will be available for adoption starting today! Great piece, Robin!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Ooh nice, I hope someone lovely rescues you!

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Teri Gelini's avatar

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ ON SUBSTACK IN A LONG TIME. I LAUGHED SO HARD I PEED MY PANTS. YOU ARE A RIOT WITH YOUR WRITING

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Aww thank you so much Teri! :)

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Carol Finch's avatar

Deffo bookmarking Fictitious Facts Quarterly. That one is a keeper.....

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆 It's a solid read.

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Carol Finch's avatar

🤣

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Andrea Stoeckel's avatar

This is marvelous

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Botch Casually's avatar

Navel Gazing? I do a lot of navel gazing, but only after long breaks between navel gazing sessions does it lead to lint collection. Do I qualify as introvert? I must stress that the only navel at which I gaze is my own. I do recognize that were I to cast my gaze toward the navel of another, let alone collect any lint that I might find, that I could be classified as a “vert” of an entirely different sort.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 That might be one of the most introverted things I've ever read. You qualify, and I think get a set of steak knives.

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Botch Casually's avatar

Steak knives are great for lint mining, butter knives, not so much.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆

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Scherer's avatar

Is that like star gazing? Does one need a telescope?

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Botch Casually's avatar

Can be, surprisingly, lint has a fractal like quality where, if you squint hard enough and dig deep into the depths of your imagination you might spot a star like figure in the fuzz. The real challenge would most likely be training the telescope on your belly button. Now I can only speak from the experience of having an innie.

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Scherer's avatar

An innie and an introvert! A delightful combination!

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David Perlmutter's avatar

Adopting an introvert is a bit much. Couldn't we just be friends.

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Sandra S. Oitzinger's avatar

home/basement/crawlspace?

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Linda Blatnik's avatar

That would be painful.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

That does sound like a much easier arrangement.

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Mike's avatar

Lol id adopt you

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Robin Wilding's avatar

😆😆 Bad idea

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Julie Unbound's avatar

Beautiful! 😍

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Jack Jackson's avatar

I feel so seen!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Yay!

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Lisa’s Last Words's avatar

thank you, Robin you’re so wise💚🎉

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