That was hilarious! I thought I knew every euphemism for boobs. I tell you what, my boobs have been the bane of my existence ever since they first appeared. I was a DD in 8th grade and a boy named Howard used to grab them with beaker tongs in chemistry class. Sadly, the school was disinterested in doing anything other than scolding him. As a full-grown adult, they became mountainous. I'm one of those skinny bitches with the big boobs. Size 3 jeans but needed to have my bras customized to fit. I have the same build as Dolly Parton - tiny body with massive boobages. Now I'm an old lady so nobody cares - finally! Nowadays I can skip the bra and just tuck them into the waistband of my sweatpants. LOL! One bonus is that I can carry everything I need tucked between them if I can't take my purse with me.
Howard sounds like a dick. Sorry you had to go through all that, and the school didn't even help (that sounds like par for the course back in the day unfortunately). But cot damn it does sound like you're rocking some massive mammajammas, lucky bitch indeed...albeit they're also a curse. LMAO at the sweatpants line. And the good ole booby purse--I do that too if I'm wearing a titty arrester, even with small ones
George Carlin had collected many euphemisms for the assorted anatomical parts, but these new nicknames have been Pulitzer Prize worthy. Time to call Merriam-Webster!
With your permission, I’ll add some of these to my vocabulary. And… I thank you kindly for sharing your knowledge and thoughts.
I was always fascinated by boobs when I was a child, but wouldn’t you know it? When it was time to get my own, they barely appeared. I bought push up bras 2 at a time, so I could use both sets of padding to prop up my barely-theres.
My sister, on the other hand, got all the Ukrainian genes, and with them, a huge set of knockers. I’m not even sure she enjoyed them as much as I know I would have.
If boobs made sounds, hers would say “ba boom ba boom ba boom”.
Mine would say “ba bing ba bing ba bing”.
Anyway, now that I’m 50 lbs overweight, I have boobs… the kind that go all the way around to the back.
Not the double push-up padding! lol. I did the same thing. Then I got the 'water' bras, that were dreadfully heavy. Who thought it was a good idea to wear tiny waterbeds on your chest. Those sound effects are so accurate 😆😆
Yeah, boobs can be a watch-what-you-wish-for scenario, and a bit of a curse.
This was great!! I’ve always thought my boobs were weird and I’m incredibly self conscious about them which my husband hates, so that’s probably what drew me to the article in the first place but damn… you’re HILARIOUS!! All your sweater-kitten nicknames had me laugh-crying. Or is it cry-laughing? A great sense of humor is a gift and one that I sadly lack. You are gifted, my friend 😊
Aww I'm glad you liked it. You're definitely not the only one self conscious about the biddies. When I try to relate that to men I say 'imagine your dick was on your chest and everyone could see the size of it'. Maybe send this article to your husband, and next time you're feeling self conscious he can break the tension by tossing you a funny boob synonym haha
Ha, I used to use mine like a purse too!!! I was once a small pants size with a big cup size. Now I’m a huge pants size with a redonkulous cup size. I have an ultrasound together with my mammogram always because of “density”. These bitches do NOT shrink appropriately when I’ve lost weight. Button shirts! Bras! Swim suits! Practically anything! My pjs in the morning when I’m not noticing pre-coffee and I step on my porch to throw something out (sorry neighbors!!!!!) None of it is my friend. My titties are always on the escape. Fat AND tall AND giant knockered, you know what, fuck off already.
Honestly, if I could take them off and send them to you….they’re old and used, though. You might not want them. They do still “face” forward, just at a lower setting 😂😂😂😂
OH MY FLUCKING GODDESS!! I am crying and dying with laughter!!! Hooray for Boobies!! (I had that album, on CD, boob shaped!) The graphics are flucking brilliant!!
Brilliant! 😂😂😂 Where did you get your booby thesaurus? I want one, too! 🙂
What's worse than shopping for bras is being the man who is the official bra shopping assistant and having no clue about these things. That's really tough, believe me... You also hope that you don't grow boobs as you grow older than dust. 🙂 The underside of your chin going the way of the gecko is bad enough. 🦎
Glad you liked it Bernhard. As for the boobsaurus, I researched some, adjusted some, some came from friends and a few I had rolling around in my brain bucket (and yet I can't remember peoples names or what I ate yesterday). I have more on the list I made, so I may need to write more of these just to use them hehe.
We have a nice one in Germany, it's Baby Bar. 🙂 Also a neat one referring to gravity and sag is "the bells are hanging lower than the rope". I guess it will not take you long to figure that one out... Won't happen to you. 😂
That was hilarious! I thought I knew every euphemism for boobs. I tell you what, my boobs have been the bane of my existence ever since they first appeared. I was a DD in 8th grade and a boy named Howard used to grab them with beaker tongs in chemistry class. Sadly, the school was disinterested in doing anything other than scolding him. As a full-grown adult, they became mountainous. I'm one of those skinny bitches with the big boobs. Size 3 jeans but needed to have my bras customized to fit. I have the same build as Dolly Parton - tiny body with massive boobages. Now I'm an old lady so nobody cares - finally! Nowadays I can skip the bra and just tuck them into the waistband of my sweatpants. LOL! One bonus is that I can carry everything I need tucked between them if I can't take my purse with me.
Howard sounds like a dick. Sorry you had to go through all that, and the school didn't even help (that sounds like par for the course back in the day unfortunately). But cot damn it does sound like you're rocking some massive mammajammas, lucky bitch indeed...albeit they're also a curse. LMAO at the sweatpants line. And the good ole booby purse--I do that too if I'm wearing a titty arrester, even with small ones
Oh Dawn. Bless your heart. I'm a 75yo woman and 6-foot-5-inches tall. There is NO bra that fits me. Ever!!
I've been shopping everywhere and they always say, we can fit you.
Nope! They can't. Even when my mammos were unsaved, there was no bra with long enough straps.
None. Ever!
I'm sending Howard a virtual butt kicking. Ifs he's dead, be's lucky.
And the administration that scolded the poor kid! F*CK them.
Not that I have an opinion, but F*CK them 🤪
I don’t know which made me laugh harder, the descriptive boob euphemisms or the graphics. Brava!
Yay, thanks Kay-El! Although I didn't make the graphics so I can't take credit for those. Whoever made them is absolutely awesome though 😆
George Carlin had collected many euphemisms for the assorted anatomical parts, but these new nicknames have been Pulitzer Prize worthy. Time to call Merriam-Webster!
With your permission, I’ll add some of these to my vocabulary. And… I thank you kindly for sharing your knowledge and thoughts.
😆 If I get a Pulitzer for by saddle bags synonyms I'll eat my bra.
Ooh, please do use as many as you can! :)
Hee, “shirt turnips”! Awesome article, Robin!
hehe, I liked shirt turnips too. Thanks Sheila ♡
I was always fascinated by boobs when I was a child, but wouldn’t you know it? When it was time to get my own, they barely appeared. I bought push up bras 2 at a time, so I could use both sets of padding to prop up my barely-theres.
My sister, on the other hand, got all the Ukrainian genes, and with them, a huge set of knockers. I’m not even sure she enjoyed them as much as I know I would have.
If boobs made sounds, hers would say “ba boom ba boom ba boom”.
Mine would say “ba bing ba bing ba bing”.
Anyway, now that I’m 50 lbs overweight, I have boobs… the kind that go all the way around to the back.
Be careful what you wish for.
Not the double push-up padding! lol. I did the same thing. Then I got the 'water' bras, that were dreadfully heavy. Who thought it was a good idea to wear tiny waterbeds on your chest. Those sound effects are so accurate 😆😆
Yeah, boobs can be a watch-what-you-wish-for scenario, and a bit of a curse.
🤣🤣🤣
This was great!! I’ve always thought my boobs were weird and I’m incredibly self conscious about them which my husband hates, so that’s probably what drew me to the article in the first place but damn… you’re HILARIOUS!! All your sweater-kitten nicknames had me laugh-crying. Or is it cry-laughing? A great sense of humor is a gift and one that I sadly lack. You are gifted, my friend 😊
Aww I'm glad you liked it. You're definitely not the only one self conscious about the biddies. When I try to relate that to men I say 'imagine your dick was on your chest and everyone could see the size of it'. Maybe send this article to your husband, and next time you're feeling self conscious he can break the tension by tossing you a funny boob synonym haha
That’s honestly great advice!! 😊
Ha, I used to use mine like a purse too!!! I was once a small pants size with a big cup size. Now I’m a huge pants size with a redonkulous cup size. I have an ultrasound together with my mammogram always because of “density”. These bitches do NOT shrink appropriately when I’ve lost weight. Button shirts! Bras! Swim suits! Practically anything! My pjs in the morning when I’m not noticing pre-coffee and I step on my porch to throw something out (sorry neighbors!!!!!) None of it is my friend. My titties are always on the escape. Fat AND tall AND giant knockered, you know what, fuck off already.
Those are some big bajungas then! Uhh....can I have some? 😆
Honestly, if I could take them off and send them to you….they’re old and used, though. You might not want them. They do still “face” forward, just at a lower setting 😂😂😂😂
As opposed to the rest of me?
😆😆 Good point Alexandra.
Always glad to help.😀
Awesome! Since you’ve exhausted all euphemisms (thank you!) I’ll just let you know that I had an Aunt whose email address was twotinytits@….com.
😆😆 That email address is awesome. I think I'd like your aunt.
Also, I haven't exhausted them. I made a list (because I'm dedicated to my 'craft' hehe) and only used a fraction of it.
Wow, not sure what I’m more impressed with: the fact that you have even more, or the restraint you exhibited by not using them all!
OH MY FLUCKING GODDESS!! I am crying and dying with laughter!!! Hooray for Boobies!! (I had that album, on CD, boob shaped!) The graphics are flucking brilliant!!
omg, I'd forgotten about the boob-shaped CD, thanks for that reminder. 😆😆
And thanks Lisa!!
and Big, two… I mean too!
I never saw boobs wave before, especially so frenetically!
😆😆. The frenetic waving is entrancing isn't it.
They make me want to grab them, and the hands too!
I'm not hastily scribbling down all these nom de plumes at all....
😆😆 Keep the list open, I have a second piece coming out with more of them. I made a whole list and only used a fraction of it.
Brilliant! 😂😂😂 Where did you get your booby thesaurus? I want one, too! 🙂
What's worse than shopping for bras is being the man who is the official bra shopping assistant and having no clue about these things. That's really tough, believe me... You also hope that you don't grow boobs as you grow older than dust. 🙂 The underside of your chin going the way of the gecko is bad enough. 🦎
Glad you liked it Bernhard. As for the boobsaurus, I researched some, adjusted some, some came from friends and a few I had rolling around in my brain bucket (and yet I can't remember peoples names or what I ate yesterday). I have more on the list I made, so I may need to write more of these just to use them hehe.
'the way of the gecko' 😆
We have a nice one in Germany, it's Baby Bar. 🙂 Also a neat one referring to gravity and sag is "the bells are hanging lower than the rope". I guess it will not take you long to figure that one out... Won't happen to you. 😂
Those are both great, that second one is hilarious 😆😆
Girl, I'm dyin' over here!! 😅😂🤣
😆😆 YAY! I mean...well, you know what I mean.
Honestly the number of slang synonyms alone made this post worth reading! Well done. 👍🏼
Thanks Andrea! :)