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Plum's avatar

Robin, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s the hardest part of having a pet but all the good times make it worth it. When my father-in-law passed awhile back ( and far too young imo), his daughter said that she pictured him being greeted by all the dogs they’d had growing up. I love that idea!

I have a female dog now who is like your surviving one, but my previous one was like your Chela. Oliver was the love of my life (sorry, hubby!) and was by my side constantly. He got along with any dog and loved to go to dog parks or anywhere else he could find others to play with. He was a shelter dog who’d lived 15 months in a no kill shelter at Lake Tahoe. He had a wonderful caretaker there and she loved Oliver and could not understand why he’d never been adopted. I think it was because he was waiting for me; he chose me, not me him. They brought out two dogs we considered adopting (one was smaller, a plus, but more hyper, a minus) and while the littler one zipped up and down the play yard, Oliver came up to me, sat down and leaned against me. I burst into tears and hubby knew then I’d found my dog.

Oliver only lived to twelve and like your experience, it was a rough last 6 months, mostly because he had developed such severe arthritis. I still miss him to this day, even though Indie is a part of my life now.

Don’t apologize for being able to write out your grief. I did the same at the time. Yours was a lovely story. And what a sweetie your new guy is to give you that adorable potato!!

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Aww what a beautiful story about Oliver. He definitely found the right person and I'm glad you got so many years with him. Albeit it's never enough.💜

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Rain Robinson's avatar

Oh Robin, this made me cry. I am so sorry sweet Chela crossed over the Bridge. I'm sure she has friends holding her steady there. And you have family and friends and Cora doing the same for you. The thought of my 14+ years old Rain the Cat crossing makes my heart stop. I know how utterly sad it is to say so long for now to furry children.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I'm sorry you lost your kitty Rain, it really is so hard to lose them.

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Rain Robinson's avatar

Rain is still alive, it's the thought that is gnawing. My first greyby Ashputtel is long over the Bridge. I dread the same feelings coming back. Thank you for your sweet empathy, Robin.

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Jeanne Grant, Ph.D.'s avatar

You held her and that's the best thing a best friend can do. Thanks for acknowledging the whole guilt thing. I had to make the decision for my best friend in September and guilt still lurks, though I knew it was time. They give us everything and expect so little in return, though it sounds like Chela really had you trained. You will heal.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you Jeanne. Ugh, thanks for chiming in on the guilt thing--I knew it wasn't just me. Even when we're confident its time, the guilt is still there. 💜

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Gillie's avatar

You are allowed not be happy or funny. You are allowed to grieve at your own pace. If it helps tell us more Chela stories. Take your time, write whatever your feelings tell you to write. Yes, we love your humorous stories, but your heartfelt stories are welcome too. Long distance hugs.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Aww thank you Gillie. That's really helpful to know that people won't be disappointed if I write about life getting lifey sometimes 💜

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James Tyler's avatar

🥺🥹😭😪🤧🤧🤭🥰😍🙏💔❤️‍🩹🌈💞🐶💞🌈🙏 Losing a furry companion is TREMENDOUSLY DEVASTATING to say the least! I LOVE being a dog lover/owner! The UNCONDITIONAL love and DEVOTION is worth the HEARTACHE & PAIN when the time comes to say goodbye! What I REALLY find UNFAIR about being a dog owner is THAT they don't get the LUXURY of living beyond 10-15 years for most breeds! Robin you were blessed to reach 17 years with your ANGEL! 🙏🐶🙏 The pain and loss will continue for some time. You'll have emotional moments and cry as you grieve which is normal. Eventually, you will begin to heal and that heartache and pain becomes a part of you. Take care of yourself and your family! Mike sounds like a good guy! 👍🙏

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you for your kind words James. It is rough that we'll outlive them, but on the bright side they never have to live a day without us. And yes, I was super lucky to have her for 17 years :)

Mike does seem like a good guy 💜

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James Tyler's avatar

💯👍🙏🥰😍😘🙏 💐

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Sean McCoy Writes's avatar

Robin, there is no schedule or time-line for grieving. Take your time. I remember when my Tony left this Earth I was lost, I was devastated. I spent a lot of time dealing with the guilt and pain. Gradually over time though, the painful feelings of losing him were replaced by the wonderful memories of his presence in my life. The joy he brought me in the six short years we had together, he was a rescue, have nearly conquered the pain of loss and guilt.

Take your time, the internet and we will still be here. ❤️

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you for sharing your story too, I'm sorry you had to go through it. It really does take time.

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Laura's avatar

What a dog. What a life you shared. She was the best companion and clearly your muse. I'm so sorry for your loss, Robin. 💔🐾🌈🐾

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you Laura, that's appreciated 💜

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Peter William Murphy's avatar

I'm so sorry Robin 😞

I remember seeing my dad break down when we had to let our dog of 17 years, Bono, down.

I'm sure you gave her a great life ❤️

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thanks Peter. It's funny, the dads are often the ones that don't want to get a dog, then they're their best friend and are the most sad when they pass.

And yes, she had an epic life :)

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Zara Benton's avatar

She was incredible I only just found you and Chela and read this story today. I cried when I read about Chela yesterday a one in a million for sure. I'd love to have known her more but its OK I'll get to know you and Cora now and no doubt hear more about Chela in your future posts. After all she may have walked over the Rainbow Bridge but she will never be gone from your heart and memories nor should she. Thank you for sharing that love here. Run free Chela, I got 10 up there waiting to meet you and play.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you for your kind words Zara :) I'm sure she'll pop up in stories, and Cora definitely will. I'm sorry you lost 10 already--that's a LOT to go through.

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Wen's avatar

She had a great life. She had a great life with you. As Toy Story would say, “You got a friend in me!” That’s Chela to you🩷🩷🩷

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Robin Wilding's avatar

💜💜

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The Mouthy Renegade Writer's avatar

Awwww, Sis. Written like only a true dog Mama and amazing writer could. This one got me right in the feels. 🥹

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Bernhard Guenter's avatar

Dear Robin, I feel your pain. It brings back memories of our sweet dog, a cross-breed between a Dachshund and a Yorkshire Terrier. She died in my arms and I still remember how she suddenly seemed twice as heavy. She was with us for 13 years and left a dog shaped hole in our life.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Aww I'm so sorry for your loss, but thanks for sharing your story. At least it happened in your arms, that's the absolute best way for it to happen. 💜

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Vanessa Scaringi, PhD's avatar

Such a lovely life you gave Chela. Thank you for sharing.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Thank you for reading it Vanessa 💜

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Ute Luppertz's avatar

That’s such a beautiful tribute to your girl, Robin. It’s completely normal to feel relief after extended care taking because it’s exhausting. No need for guilt, if you ask me (not that you did).

I carried two big dogs around for months who passed away within a few days from each other like an old married couple. It felt so empty afterward but I finally got some sleep.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

I'm sorry you lost your dogs. But ooph carrying them around must have been tough. But how beautiful that they passed a la The Notebook. 💜

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Linda Blatnik's avatar

I think we all needed this.

Ÿou express your grief as well as your funny. Thank you. You are an amazing writer and doggy momma.

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Awww, thank you Linda. 💜

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Jerry Wayne Pollard's avatar

Dogs should live longer!

Pets show us love. And when they pass their absence becomes pain.

They remind us of our own mortal existence.

Love all you can, and in the end pass with dignity and peace

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Robin Wilding's avatar

Well said, 'they remind us of our mortal existence'. The way I look at it is that while we'll outlive them, there's grace in them never having to live without us (most of the time).

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