This is the Meaning of Life, Probably

I figured out the cosmic realm while doing the dishes

“Don’t take life too seriously — you will never get out of it alive.” ~ Elbert Hubbard (Image by freepik.)

I recently saw someone ask the question, ‘What’s the purpose of life?’ in an internet forum. Sheesh buddy, why not ask an easy question, like what’s ‘the answer to life, the universe, and everything?’

That would be easy.

It’s 42.

But rando-internet-user84957 asked specifically for the purpose of life, and here we are. While I normally would’ve quickly moved on from that existential digital blip, I had dishes to do and I needed some brain fodder. So, I pondered it while scrubbing my mouth utensils.

The first ponderment I came to was that doing the dishes definitely isn’t the meaning of life.

Perhaps the point of civilization thus far has been to evolve and invent our way past banal activities like chores. To free up our minds and hands for greater things, like competitive worm charming.

We’ve partially succeeded since dishwashers exist, even though I’m not evolved enough to have one. However in a weird cosmic turn of fate, we now have AI doing our art so that we have more time to do things like our laundry. We really did that one ass-backwards.

Dishes certainly aren’t the meaning of life, but having a dishwasher so I could spend more time creating art, or competitive duck herding, might be. But then again, without the dishes, I wouldn’t have figured out the meaning of life below.

So, what is the purpose or meaning of life?

Well, I think it depends on who you ask. Or who is asking.

If you ask a nihilist, there is no point. We’re all cosmic dust particles temporarily stuck together that will one day be ripped apart and fed back into the cosmic vacuum.

If you ask Hunter S Thompson his purpose in life, it might be to do heroic doses of hallucinogens and drive through Vegas’ bat country. Then report on his ethereal (and ether-induced) findings for the posterity of humanity.

His purpose was to lead a life so wild that even in death he had to push the boundaries. So, in 2005 in Woody Creek Colorado, his friends gathered around his ashes. Sean Penn, Bill Murray, Jack Nicholson, and a ragtag crew of other mixed sorts, watched Johnny Depp blow him out of a 30-foot cannon into the stratosphere.

If you ask a biologist, the answer might be the propagation of our locust-like species. A human race to evolve fast enough between generations that we reach such enlightenment that we don’t blow the world up, or otherwise turn it into a Sahara-like sauna.

Life is like an emoji, you never really know what it means. Image by freepik

If you ask a parent, it could be a rosier picture of the locust propagation. That we continue on our genetic traits by raising mini me’s, who will make less shitty decisions than we did. Hoping that each future generation leaves the world better off for the next. Parents might also be kid-drunk in love and fail to see the recent historical inaccuracy of that statement.

If you ask a religious person, we are all sort of some grand scheme concocted by a benevolent (or Machiavellian, depending on which book you read) man in a puffy cloud. For people like me, this is a little hard to parse with things like children dying of cancer.

If you look at the question from a reality- and results-oriented societal lens, it might be largely to be NPC-like. And consume as much as we can while fapping to bots on the internet.

If you ask me — our lives mean everything to a tiny amount of people, but utterly nothing to the grand scheme of the universe. But to us, life is a precious if short-lived gift.

To me, the purpose of life is to spend it in a way that will make you feel content and proud at the end.

Life will inevitably get lifey, but the earth will continue to rotate on its axis long after you, just as it did before. The earth will be earthing, while we cosmic ants figure out if quidditch is the ultimate meaning to our lives. I for one, however, won’t spend any more time than it takes to do the dishes to contemplate it — it will only drive someone mad.

Albeit ‘mad’ isn’t the worst way to go, just look at Hunter S Thompson.

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TL;DR — exactly what else are you reading that you skipped the meaning of life? It was only three minutes.

But it’s YOLO.

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