The Joyful Anarchist’s Handbook
Glitterbombs, Canadian graffiti and other ways to happify a chaotic world in 2025
Just before I launch into my pro-chaos happy anarchist rant, I wanted to give y’all peeps a quick update. Last week, my bestest writer buddy Jason Provencio (
) and I hosted our first Substack Live.It was a blast.
So many of you attended and thank you so much for that! The chat was on fire and y’all are absolutely hilarious. I’m so grateful that 350 people tuned into it, that’s amazeballs. It went so well—we’re doing another one tonight!
Thursday, January 23rd at 6 pm EST, Jason and I will be going live again and we’d love for you to come.
Tonight’s live will be a discussion about the differences between America and Canada…like how you guys have more Mountain Dew flavors than the rest of us. Or how we spell flavour correctly. Or how ketchup is the best flavour of chips. It should be a blast and I hope to see some of you there!
Ok, now onto digital anarchy…

Welp, this year is already off to a wild start. Not to be a the-sky-is-falling Debbie Downer, but I have a feeling 2025 will be one for the books. One complete with an apocalyptic bingo card.
We’ve already watched part of the world burn, America be taken over by President Camacho from Idiocracy — and in a surprise twist of happy fate, there might be peace in the Middle East.
Anything can happen this year.
Ok, maybe not peace in the Middle East. But let me have my Miss Congeniality moment about the Israel-Hamas ceasefire.
As the world stumbles into chaos, I think we should give it a helping hand (or a stiff middle finger) — and rewrite 1971’s The Anarchist Cookbook. Let’s give it a Queer Eye For The Straight Guy makeover, to really zshuzh it up for 2025.
For anyone who isn’t pretending that they read The Anarchist Cookbook, like I’m about to, it was a book by William Powell written in 1971. It’s an iconic cult classic of the Vietnam War counterculture era — complete with instructions for making things like explosives, weapons, and telecom phreaking devices. Oh, and LSD.
The point of the book was to inspire societal change by empowering people with the skills needed to fight back against oppression from capitalism, fascism, and communism. It’s a handbook for subversion.
‘They’ tried to ban the book, but collectively the Department of Justice, White House, and FBI determined it was covered under free speech. Even Powell himself tried to ban the book himself at one point, after converting from anarchy to Anglicanism.
With global politics in its usual state of kerfufflery, and a handful of broligarchs with main-character energy darkening our digital doorsteps, it’s easy to feel down in the virtual dumps. But it’s time we fought back, if only for our own sanity and happiness.
Enter, Effervescent Anarchy
Since I don’t think it’s a reality in 2025 to successfully defend ourselves from advanced militaries and the unparalleled power of billionaires and oligarchs. I’m suggesting doing what we can to raise a little happy anarchy — and our spirits.
Let’s make anarchy *sparkle*.
So here’s my little blueprint on how to become your little friendly neighbourhood anarchist. It’s anarchism for merriment-spreading misfits who are sick of feeling like shit with the current shenanigannery.
Will this glitter-coated chaos solve institutional problems?
No. You’re expecting a lot from a dick-joke-telling humor writer.
But it can spread a little joy right now, and show the world that nothing can break us. We need each other’s light and love, and that’s never been truer than right now.
So…
Let’s get weird.
Get Googly
I’ll start with one of my favorite activities — putting googly eyes on random shiznit. Is there a random politician or billionaire poster in your neighborhood you’re sick of staring at? Googly eye it.
If you’ve got a bald head, well, stick some googly eyes on the back. That would make me laugh for days.

Or if you just want to spread the googly joy amongst yourselves you can do what I do — and put googly eyes on condiments in people’s fridges. That joy lasts for weeks to months.
If you’re against googly eyes because you’re dead inside, bedazzling is a fun alternative.
The Running Resistance
If you’ve never gone jogging like Phoebe from Friends, try it. It’s invigorating. It confuses people, but it’s wildly entertaining for yourself and others.
Personally, I step this up a notch and do dance walking. As I walk my dogs I’ll dance to whatever tunes I have on. In a style that can only be defined as ‘dance like nobody’s watching’. Except sometimes people are. The fun ones will laugh — the cool ones will join in, and then you’ve started a walk-dance revolution.
Canadian-Style Graffiti
Graffiti has long been considered a subversive art form. Street art challenges societal norms and empowers those generally excluded from the high-falutin art scene.
If you’re wondering what ‘Canadian graffiti’ is, it’s graffiti but with more positive messages. There’s one movement that caught on in northern graffiti, where the phrase “Your mom is a nice lady” popped up on bathroom stalls, and outdoor concrete walls.

A simple “Have a nice day!” can be very effective too and is another popular Canadian graffiti’d phrase.
If we’re going to vandalize something — let’s do it to spread a positive message.
Go Off The Grid (Without Leaving Home)
If these suggestions are sounding too peopley so far, then this one is for you. Build a fort. A pillow-, blanket-, or couch cushion-fort. But a fort. Put up some twinkly lights to give it ‘a vibe’ if you want. But hunker down and refuse to leave.
Have your mail redirected there, and declare yourself President and King of Fortland.
Free Hugs
I miss the Free Hugs campaign. Whatever happened to it? Covid I guess. But this viral campaign of the early 2000’s was a way to spread joy. It was started by an Australian man, Juan Mann, in 2004 and was just what it sounded like — free hugs to anyone who needed them.
I think my fav spinoffs were free mom hugs and free dad hugs.
If you have Haphephobia, a fear of being touched — hand out bubble wrap. Bubble wrap can crack even the hardest of crunchy-exterior’d people.
Public Pillow Fights
Times are tough these days. If you’ve felt the urge to hit something — go with that feeling, and schedule a public pillow fight. Nobody gets hurt, but everybody gets their aggression out.

And let’s face it, most of us aren’t following the recommended advice of changing our pillows every year or two. I know some of us have pillows that we bought when Obama was rocking the Whitehouse. Me, I’m that person. But what better use for those things than to cover them up and then smack a stranger-but-soon-to-be-friend with it?
Or buy new pillows because you’re not a dirt pig like me.
Be an Anti-Troll
Trolls have partially ruined the internet. While occasionally there’s a funny one, most are hateful shrews who cause chaos and anger. They spread it like a digital disease. They’re hard to beat, and even harder to ignore sometimes.
But let’s fight back. Not by engaging them, because never feed the trolls (that’s like getting a Gremlin wet or feeding it after midnight) — by counteracting them. Leave positive random internet comments. Compliment people every chance you get.
Glitter Bombing
Have you ever wanted a place to look like it formerly hosted a stripper convention? Do you want to feel like you went to the Glastonbury, Coachella, and Tomorrowland festivals in back-to-back succession? Then this entry might be the one for you.

Glitter bombs make everything, or everyone, they’re bombed onto—sparkle with pizzazz.
Whether they want to or not.
The bonus is that the joy lasts a while (provided you don’t have to clean up) because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. You can make them relatively easily yourself, or you can buy them for about 30 bucks here.
More glitter, less bitter.
An alternative to glitter bombing — for those acutely aware of its nearly-permanent nature and with an aversion to sparkle — is yarn bombing. It does however take a lot more work.
I hope you liked my happy anarchy suggestions above. We still have a lot of 2025 to make it through still and we’re at a precipice of decision making about how we’ll tackle this pending clusterfuck of a year.
Embrace your inner batshit-crazy spirit and spread your weirdness and happiness into the world.
Spark a joy revolution; the world needs it right now.
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I’d absolutely love your support at any level that’s comfortable for you…
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What a wonderful idea! And got me thinking. I live in a gated community (I’m old, don’t hate me) and many in this place are very conservative paranoid haters who voted for President Orange FF. I don’t want to become like them or spend my days full of hate and range. I think I’ll build off the positive graffiti idea and go with the small rocks painted with positive messages. I can grab a rock, take it home to paint it, and casually drop it on my daily walks.
Maintain the resistance, people!!
Let's all be like Bishop Budde. At every rally he can't resist, folks show up and be Budde at him.