in your 40's?? Girl. I'll make you a breakfast BloodyMaryFromHell, Wisconsin-style, complete with 3-egg omelette and hot sauce with real cheese on the side, all chased with decent beer, if you can write this same shit at 64.10 yrs. At 40 I was still riding rollercoasters with my favorite brother while hammering out a career and a few part time gigs for drinking money. You've still got some living to do, young un. ;) But good work so far!
This is like me and my two closest friends. Our dads died within a year of each other, so now we are the dead dads' club, but we have been friends since high school. Our inappropriate dark humor gets us through the dumpster fire. And since we are all 45, we are all home and in bed by 9🤣And never awake before 7.
I’m more of a long distance Swiss army friend. I moved away so I could retire, but I’ll talk on the phone with my besties about anything for however long they want to.
I've just realized that it's good policy to NEVER cross some one who knows how to dispose of a body and all the finer points of evidence disposal. (In my neighborhood, people simply punt their cheating spouses, or thieving business partners down a disused mine shaft or a dry well...)
Would you be willing to ride a carousel -- on a horse, not on a bench? Can you ride a motorcycle, and would you be willing to take me as a passenger? Bear in mind that I'm a fat senior citizen, and you might have to scrape me up from the floor or the road.
My Photoshop-fu (😆) is pretty strong. I spent a fuckton of time learning it and now everyone else can do it easily with ai. I still use PS (although technically I use a program called GIMP, it's open-source PS), cuz I'm too invested.
Googly eyes during sexy time 😆😆😆 Thanks for that visual.
Drummers are definitely weird. So are hockey goolies, super weirdos (in a wonderful way).
I have a vested interest preserving Photoshop-fu (which makes sense considering what keeps The Sausage in cookies). I think AI image generation is pretty much awful — and not just because of the “uncanny valley” aspect of it.
I find GIMP to be kind of underpowered and not so great. Since they’ve moved to the subscription model, I’ve been getting more and more pissed off and resentful about Adobe and its greed. I don’t mind paying for software that I use professionally (because it pays for itself) but I want to buy it and own the license, not rent it.
I’ve been experimenting with a new graphics suite that has definite power, a bit of a learning curve (but tons of free video tutorials produced by the company on their site) and extremely affordablly priced from a company called Affinity. they’ve got three components to their suite that you can purchase together or separately, it’s a one time cost and you get updates forever (until they come out with a radically expanded upgrade). In other words, fair pricing and the results are every bit as good as they are from Adobe products. They can also open and export Adobe file types including PSD, EPS, etc… Their Photoshop equivalent is called, “Photo”. They also have an Illustrator analog called “Designer” and a layout InDesign/QuarkXPress program called “Publisher”. The last is unfortunately named, due to the abortion that Microsoft inflicted upon the world.
Affinity is also available for macOS, Windows and iPadOS
Ode to going to bed by 9 PM. I like to capitalize PM because it can be hard to see once you're in (or before you're in) the progressives era.
I have a steamroller friend from teenagehood. I just recently learned that he has had 5 concussions and has lasting brain injury symptoms. I'm really hoping they're from years of competitive hockey and not from random "Steamroller!" tackles from not-small farmgirl me. 🫣
I SO want to be your friend! Thirty years ago I was making plans to relocate to Canada, but things happen ... Really wish I had. I might have been able to meet you.
in your 40's?? Girl. I'll make you a breakfast BloodyMaryFromHell, Wisconsin-style, complete with 3-egg omelette and hot sauce with real cheese on the side, all chased with decent beer, if you can write this same shit at 64.10 yrs. At 40 I was still riding rollercoasters with my favorite brother while hammering out a career and a few part time gigs for drinking money. You've still got some living to do, young un. ;) But good work so far!
That sounds amazing. I don't drink, but I'll take the rest haha.
But phew, another person who was still deciding what they wanted to be when they grew up in their 40s 😆😆
And I love your writing, using the expletive here was intended colloquially, not derisively.
Expletives are always welcome here ;)
This is like me and my two closest friends. Our dads died within a year of each other, so now we are the dead dads' club, but we have been friends since high school. Our inappropriate dark humor gets us through the dumpster fire. And since we are all 45, we are all home and in bed by 9🤣And never awake before 7.
Dead dad club 😆😆😆💀
I'm glad I'm not the only one going to bed early but still not getting up early either haha
Let's write a song called BROKE PEOPLE THINGS
😆 I don't do songwriting. But hmm...I could make make a poem out of it? That you could turn into a song.
Covering bodies with sawdust also makes them decompose faster.
I have a sawdust source if anyone needs it
😆😆 I think I love you.
I’m more of a long distance Swiss army friend. I moved away so I could retire, but I’ll talk on the phone with my besties about anything for however long they want to.
Long-distance still works as a SAF. Especially with all the tech we can use to keep in touch these days!
This was the shiiiiiiit. I'm proud to be the corkscrew on your Swiss Army Knife of friends. &:^)
Thanks Mouthy. You're definitely the corkscrew 😆😆
I've just realized that it's good policy to NEVER cross some one who knows how to dispose of a body and all the finer points of evidence disposal. (In my neighborhood, people simply punt their cheating spouses, or thieving business partners down a disused mine shaft or a dry well...)
Yup, a solid, solid policy 😆. So basically, don't piss off gardeners.
Although mine shaft or well sounds pretty solid too haha
TIL the finer points of porcine digestion. It's always the little things that get you caught. Thanks, Robin!
The ɓEst friend ignores her pain
to lift you up and make you laugh.
And feel a little sad too
because:
What can we do for you?
My kinda friend, Swiss Army style all the way!
Would you be willing to ride a carousel -- on a horse, not on a bench? Can you ride a motorcycle, and would you be willing to take me as a passenger? Bear in mind that I'm a fat senior citizen, and you might have to scrape me up from the floor or the road.
Sure would! I'll bring the giant spatula 😆
It should have become "Jack and Karen". Right after they kill Will and Grace...
Agreed, they should've had their own spinoff, they were the best part of that show.
How's your Photoshop-fu?
Vomiting in a Bouncy Castle is nice but imagine what horrific things could transpire in a Ball Pit...
Googly Eyes are best used during Sexy Time.
Drummers are weirder than soldiers (this is why Jane Wiedlin rather than Gina Shock but that's another story...)
My Photoshop-fu (😆) is pretty strong. I spent a fuckton of time learning it and now everyone else can do it easily with ai. I still use PS (although technically I use a program called GIMP, it's open-source PS), cuz I'm too invested.
Googly eyes during sexy time 😆😆😆 Thanks for that visual.
Drummers are definitely weird. So are hockey goolies, super weirdos (in a wonderful way).
I have a vested interest preserving Photoshop-fu (which makes sense considering what keeps The Sausage in cookies). I think AI image generation is pretty much awful — and not just because of the “uncanny valley” aspect of it.
I find GIMP to be kind of underpowered and not so great. Since they’ve moved to the subscription model, I’ve been getting more and more pissed off and resentful about Adobe and its greed. I don’t mind paying for software that I use professionally (because it pays for itself) but I want to buy it and own the license, not rent it.
I’ve been experimenting with a new graphics suite that has definite power, a bit of a learning curve (but tons of free video tutorials produced by the company on their site) and extremely affordablly priced from a company called Affinity. they’ve got three components to their suite that you can purchase together or separately, it’s a one time cost and you get updates forever (until they come out with a radically expanded upgrade). In other words, fair pricing and the results are every bit as good as they are from Adobe products. They can also open and export Adobe file types including PSD, EPS, etc… Their Photoshop equivalent is called, “Photo”. They also have an Illustrator analog called “Designer” and a layout InDesign/QuarkXPress program called “Publisher”. The last is unfortunately named, due to the abortion that Microsoft inflicted upon the world.
Affinity is also available for macOS, Windows and iPadOS
You can investigate the software at https://affinity.serif.com/en-us/
Pricing (in US dollars) is as follows)
Photo — $69.99
Designer — $69.99
Publisher — $69.99
The entire Suite is a steal at $164.99 (which is about what I’m paying Adobe every 2.5 months).
P.S. Glad the Googly Eyes mental image worked as intended.
I really enjoy making friends with people who aren’t like me. I typically avoid anyone who reminds me of me. 😊 Probably why I enjoy you so much!
Solid plan Beth, diverse friend groups work super well.
And thanks :)
Ode to going to bed by 9 PM. I like to capitalize PM because it can be hard to see once you're in (or before you're in) the progressives era.
I have a steamroller friend from teenagehood. I just recently learned that he has had 5 concussions and has lasting brain injury symptoms. I'm really hoping they're from years of competitive hockey and not from random "Steamroller!" tackles from not-small farmgirl me. 🫣
I love the pm capitalization hhaa.
Having seen competitive hockey, and having done steamrollers--I think its safe to say the TBI is from the hockey.
I SO want to be your friend! Thirty years ago I was making plans to relocate to Canada, but things happen ... Really wish I had. I might have been able to meet you.
Aww that's so sweet Terrie, thanks. You would've made a great Canadian :)