209 Funny Names for Trump

Like Kaiser Kickback, Felonious Chunk and Malice in Blunderland

Gif from The New Yorker on Giphy

Trump’s democrapocalyptic plans to destroy the world apparently require such regularly shenanigans and clusterfuckery that barely a day goes by without hearing hearing his name plastered across the news. Even here in Canada. And I get sick of hearing about him and his cabinet of cosplaytriots.

I’ve heard the name Trump so much that the word has lost all meaning. Ironic, given that Trump can’t trump shit. The only way he’d ‘win’ at poker would be flipping the board over, taking his ball and going home.

So in honour of not wanting to hear his name again, I’ve got a whole whackload (that’s 2.2 craptons in metric) of alternative names for the eenie meanie, teenie weinie.

*Ahem…

1. Draft Vader

2. El Farto Suharto

3. Cockwomble Caligula

4. Derpy McFührer

5. Fiberace

6. The Tariff Sheriff

7. Commander-In-Thief

8. Founding Farter

9. Dopey McGropey

10. Twiticus

11. Yabba Dabba Doofus

12. His MAGA-Sty

13. Donald Duck the Draft

14. The MAGA-Lorian

15. Laughy Gaddafi

16. Chupacabro

17. Dumpty Numpty

18. Thundercunt McStunt

19. Commander in Queef

20. Vladimir Gluten

21. FAUXTUS

22. Mrs. Putin

23. Colonel Cowardess

24. Orange Foolius

25. Impotus

26. President Arsey McLiarface

27. Chlamidiot

28. Wreck-It Alf

29. The Crypto Hippo

30. Count Crisco

31. Satan’s Little Helper

32. Dicktator Tot

33. Donald J Tantrump

34. Dimwiticus

35. The Taco Jocko

36. The Moscow Mule

37. Dorito Mussolini

38. Duke of Dipshit

39. Commander Clusterfuck

40. Tangerine Twatsicle

41. TwatPOTamUS

42. Dumbster Don

43. Taco Shocko

44. The Twityrant

45. Ebenezer Splooge

46. Emperor Envious

47. Emperor Erraticus

48. Emperor Extraneous

49. Hemorrhoid Droid

50. Crypto Gringo

51. Tsar Turburgle

52. Kaiser Kickback

53. Chester Cheat-oh

54. Kaiser Killjoy

55. Felonious Chunk

56. His Merdejesty

57. Fuckface von Clownstick

58. Fullofshiticus

59. Julius Sleazer

60. Donald J Dumpsterfire

61. His Unholy Incontinence

62. Humpty Trumpty

63. ImPeached Gobbler

64. Jabba the Putz

65. Malice in Blunderland

66. Phallus In Blunderland

67. Mantoinette

68. Donald Von Bankrupt

69. Napoleon Bonaspurs

70. Oaf of Office

71. McDonOlds

72. Pawn Czars

73. Pol Putz

74. Pumpkin Pinochet

75. Rumpled Thinskin

76. Sir Eats-a-Lot

77. Sir Lies-a-Lot

78. Sunny D-Bag

79. Super-Lyin’-Fragile-Racist-Whiny-Braggadocious

80. Taintrump

81. Teflon Con

82. Clodwork Orange

83. The Darnold

84. The iDJiT

85. The Lyin’ King

86. The Minus Touch

87. Trumpaloompa

88. The Pig Kahuna

89. The Seize-her Geezer

90. The Turdlord

91. Velveeta Cheata

92. Velveeta Vulgarian

93. Traitor Tot

94. Tweety Amin

95. Voldermoron

96. Wicked Witch of the West Wing

97. Winnie The Coup

98. Wussolini

99. Yamchurian Candidate

100. Y-M-C-A-Hole

101. Bonespuracus

102. Adolf Twitler

103. Colludacris

104. El Crappytan

105. Abrascam Lincoln

106. The Tandalorian

107. Dingus Khan

108. Quid Pro Combover

109. Fatty Lupone

110. Prisonerelect

111. Hungry Hungry Hypocrit

112. Palpateenie Hands

113. HippoPotus

114. sweet potato hitler

115. Pumpkin Spice Palpatine

116. McDonald’s J Chump

117. The Incontinental Divider

118. Cheeto Benito

119. Humpty Trumpty

120. Cheeto Von Tweeto

121. Tyrannosaurus Rump

122. The Fraudfather

123. Trumpster fire

124. Captain Corndog

125. Velveeta Voldemort

126. Combover Caligula

127. Toddler in Chief

128. Trumpalumpadingdong

129. All Caps-Tain Kangaroo

130. The Donvict

131. Madam Musk

132. Napoleon Bone-Aspur

133. El Pork-Choppo

134. Dopey McGropey

135. Genghis Don

136. Con-Mander-In-Chief

137. The Ayatollah Complaini

138. Adipose Rex

139. President Blumpf

140. Cheat-oh McDust

141. Chumpenführer

142. Commander Clusterfuck

143. Cornered-Rat-in-Chief

144. DickTater Tot

145. Dipshiticus

146. President Tantrump

147. Donnorrhoea

148. Emperor Trumpigula

149. Foolius Ceasar

150. Girth Vader

151. Grabhersnatch

152. Great Pretendent

153. Greatest American Zero

154. Gropenfuhrer

155. Jabba The Chump

156. Kumquat Kleptocrat

157. Lame Duck a la Orange

158. Mansplainian Candidate

159. Pissident Trump

160. Schmuck a la Orange

161. Fullofshiticus

162. SlimeDog Billionaire

163. Spraytan Stalin

164. Sultan Spraytan

165. Tangerine Turdworm

166. Captain Crazypants

167. Dolt45

168. Scooby Coup

169. Darth Tax Evader

170. Vanity Manatee

171. Emperor Phallus Minimus

172. Hair Farce One

173. Moby Dickless

174. The Big Lie-bowski

175. Old Wack Donald

176. Jackass O Lantern

177. Assolini

178. Benedict Donald

179. Cheeto Von Bleato

180. Baron Golfin von Lardo

181. Orange Cockwomble

182. Dirty Don the Con

183. Cheeto Mussolini

184. Agolf Shitler

185. Agent Orange

186. Mango Mussolini

187. Stalling Stallin

188. Stupid-Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS

189. Hair Drumpfenführer

190. Ding Dong Zedong

191. Admiral Ipecac

192. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

193. Super-callous-fragilistic-excon-is-the-POTUS

194. Super-caustic-fragile-nonstick-expert-liar-POTUS

195. Super-Callous-Fragile-Racist-Sexist-Nazi-POTUS

196. Super-Lyin-Fragile-Racist-Whiny-Braggadocious

197. Super-Callous-Fascist-Racist-He-Is-Not-My-POTUS

198. His Orange Feculence

199. His Orange Flatulence

200. G. I. Joke

201. Captain Shitzferbrains

202. Colonel Gropingfury

203. IQ47

204. Kompromat Komrade

205. Lie-la-colluda

206. Pinnochio Pinochet

207. Jar Jar Stinks

208. Don Cornholeone

209. Needy Amin

Phew.

I’m impressed you made it this far. So here’s a cookie 🍪.

You might want to scribble down a few of your favorites to share with your fellow compatriots who need a laugh right now…and who can’t stand Tweety McGreedy and his harem-like entourage of Talibangelicals and Koup Klutz Klan’ers.

Is your laughter worth a dollar?

I’d absolutely love your support at any level that’s comfortable for you…

$1 per month (would picking the lowest option make you cheap? Nope, I’d love you)
$2 per month (equal love here)
$3 per month (ditto)
$4 per month (you rebel)
$5 per month (full price because I’d be dumb not to include it)

Don’t have any money? Don’t worry, me neither, and I still love you.